


All the ways Adam and Ronan Love

by KrumPuffer



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Anal Sex, Boys Kissing, Cooking, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Oral Sex, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Short & Sweet, Shower Sex, Showers, The Raven Cycle - Freeform, pynch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrumPuffer/pseuds/KrumPuffer
Summary: This is a series of one shots about all the ways Ronan and Adam love each other.  Each chapter will read like a stand alone, but will also work as a story line. Some of these stories will have sexual situations. As of right now I don’t know how long this will be, I just plan to keep writing these over time! Enjoy! Stay tuned for the next one!
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 73
Kudos: 335





	1. Throwing Pasta

“Wash the veggies before you put them in the salad, they are covered in pesticides and dirt Ronan,” Adam said as he stirred the red sauce in the pot.

“This shits organic Parrish, they don’t need to be washed.”

Adam just shakes his head at the absurdity of the statement. Adam Parrish didn’t really mind the vegetables being dirty, growing up he always abided by the rule that _God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt._ He remembers one time losing a very rare scoop of ice cream he got from the local Baskin Robins on the hot cobble walkway of downtown; his mother just shook her head at him as he scrambled to grab the scoop of ice cream from the ground and place it back on the flaky white cone. He didn’t care about that dirt that day, and he didn’t care about the dirt today. It was more a suggestion than a demand, to have dirt and pesticide-free salad.

What Adam really didn’t understand was the difference between _organic_ and _non-organic_ vegetables. They all grew from the earth; why pay more for a carrot because someone deemed it _organic?_

“Why do you do that any way Ronan? Spend extra money on fancy vegetables? It seems like a waste to me.”

“Because I do. Get off my ass about it.”

Adam knew, had the conversation been with any other human on the planet they might take this question into consideration and answer it with a logical explanation, but this was Ronan, so he took the answer at face value and dropped the pasta into the big pot of boiling water.

Ronan put the bowl of the colorful salad he had made on the dinner table, then hopped onto the counter next to Adam and took to eating what was left of the cucumber like it was an apple or banana. 

Adam liked this about Ronan. A smile overtook his naturally sullen face, “You eat like a rabbit sometimes, you know that?”

Ronan tossed the last bit of cucumber under the kitchen table and Adam's eyes followed only to notice he was not just tossing food to the floor, rather giving it to Opal, Ronan’s dream thing. It hit her hoof and she turned to see what it was, dropping the tin can she had stolen from the trash can earlier, she began eating the cucumber instead.

“Yeah, well, you eat like a toddler Parrish.”

“No, I don’t. I’m making spaghetti aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but what did you have for lunch,” Ronan asked, a smirk on his face, knowing this was a battle he had already won.

“A snickers bar from the gas station and a sweet tea,” Adam said, defeated, he knew, for the most part, he did eat like a toddler, but it wasn’t usually a choice. Adam was busy, between work and commuting to and from college and helping on the farm and loving Ronan so damn much, he ate what he could to make more time for the things that mattered most.

“Opal, put the fucking can back in the trash. We have food here; stop dumpster diving.” Ronan shouted at the little pixie looking girl under the table, that had taken back to gnawing on the tin can.

“Don’t yell at her, you made her that way. Its not her fault.” Adam said, defending the doe-eyed girl; Ronan only rolled his eyes at this and ripped off a chunk of the French loaf of bread Adam was going to make garlic toast on, then dipping it in the pot of sauce on the stove and eating it.

“Gee Ronan, I wonder where she gets it from.”

Ronan went to take another chunk of the bread and Adam smacked his hand away, “Stop eating everything before its ready damnit, you won’t even be hungry come dinner time.”

Ronan huffed, and hopped off the countertop. “Fine. What else do you need help with?” he asked, rubbing his hands together like he meant business.

“Just keeping me company while I finish this pasta up,” Adam said, and felt his cheeks grow flush at the suggestion. It was still new to him and Ronan. Although they had been friends a long time, and before they became something more than friends, Adam asking Ronan to simply stay put, and keep him company would not have brought color to his face this way. But now, he knew he said it with different meaning, so here he was, butterflies in his stomach and a newfound heat running up his body, and Ronan, looking like he might say something smart. 

Only he doesn’t. At least, nothing too snarky.

“Damn Parrish, you’re a sap.”

Adam only shrugs, because he knows its true. He’s absolutely a sap for this boy, eating his uncooked loaf of bread and throwing half-eaten cucumber at what has come to be their sort of dream child.

Ronan, hops back up on the counter and reaches out a hand towards Adam. Adam mistaking this gesture for Ronan wanting to steal more unfished food slaps his hand away.

“Chill Parrish, I was trying to grab you, not the food.”

Adam laughed. It is all so new still. A simple sweet gesture can get easily get blurred between the lines of what they use to be and what they are working towards.

“Oh,” Adam said, still unmoving.

“Well, are you going to come over here or am I just going to feel like an ass?”

Both boys laughed, and Adam cleared the small gap between them and found his place between Ronan’s legs. 

Ronan leaned in and kissed Adams shoulder. Adam knew something so innocent shouldn’t make him react in such a way, but he couldn’t help it, his head fell into Ronan’s chest and his eyes closed, it was as if the simple act of love from Ronan sent a current through his body that forced him to relax. 

Adam left his head in Ronan’s chest, his eyes remained closed, and Ronan ran his long hands up and down Adam’s back, “I could stay like this forever, you know?” Adam said, his guard down, the slow drawl of his Henrietta accent present.

“Your noodles will burn,” Ronan said, being far too logical in the moment.

Adam began to back up, Ronan’s hands found his face and lifted it to his, “You look good cooking me dinner Parrish.” He said, placing a gentle kiss on Adam's cheek.

“ _Us_ dinner, Ronan. I look good cooking _us_ dinner.” Adam corrected and brought his mouth to Ronan’s. 

The kiss was sweet and slow. An exchange of understanding. Each kiss getting easier, and not in the sense that they didn’t already love kissing each other or want to kiss each other. They loved it, and they wanted to. It was just, getting easier to make it happen. Filing the space of uncertainly that sometimes made them both wonder, _Do they still want me like this?_

Each kiss a step closer to kisses, without doubt, lingering in the back of their brains.

Adams mouth still on Ronan’s, let out a sigh, a mix of arousal and disappointment. He pulled back and Ronan’s face was dark and his breath husky. “I’m going to ruin the noodles.”

Ronan pulled him back in and kissed him again, “I don’t fucking care, I’m not even hungry anymore.” A smirk on his face, hiding under Adam's lips.

Adam pulled away, shaking his head, “I told you to stop eating everything before dinner.”

“I’m only kidding Parrish, I’m hungry. Besides, we have to feed hooves over there before she chokes on that damn tin can – Opal, drop the fucking can!”

Adam stirred the pasta one last time, keeping a single spaghetti noodle on the spoon, “Here, try this and tell me if it's ready.”

Ronan reached for the noodle and threw it at the wall; it stuck.

“What the hell Ronan! Are you a damn child?”

“No, that’s how you test if it's ready, you throw it at a wall and if it sticks its done… watch.” Ronan gets another noodle, this time with Opal watching, her tin can still between her teeth. He threw the noodle and it also stuck to the wall. Opal cheered, finally dropping the trash to the ground clapping her hands and laughing; Adam laughed too; how had he never known this trick? And then Ronan joined in laughing, patting Opal on the head, secretly loving that he made her so happy… Adam happy… making Adam happy. 

“Let’s eat!” Adam said, and they sat as Adam served them all heaping piles of spaghetti, with a side of salad and uncooked bread.

Adam ate the most. And Opal slurped her noodles annoying Ronan but not really, he just acted like she did. And Ronan twirled his pasta on a spoon like a pro, not making any mess of his shirt; like Adam had. And Chainsaw flew in and pecked at a piece of bread set aside for her. And it was a proper dinner, or as proper as a dinner could be, with a dreamer and a magician and a hooved girl and a raven.


	2. Self Care

Before Ronan had even finished the dishes from dinner -- spaghetti, Adam cooked, so Ronan cleaned – Adam was already done in the shower. It couldn’t have been fifteen minutes, and Ronan knew damn well the water in the old farmhouse of his took a good five minutes -- more during the winter – to heat up. He shouldn’t be concerned with this, but he was. He always found ways to worry about Adam, and today it was about this: Adam sucked at self-care.

Ronan heard the fall of the light footsteps behind him as he hand-dried the salad bowls to put them away. He knew it was Adam. He knew because even after all the time Adam had spent in this house, he still thought he needed to tiptoe around. Ronan hated that, he hated the thought of a fear instilled so deep it ran to the core of Adam, a fear his father placed there; that Adam still felt the need to pussyfoot around.

Ronan looked over his shoulder, to acknowledge that he knew Adam was there, pressed against the old door frame of the kitchen, and also, he just wanted to get a look at him; Adam, here in his house… still, after months of back and forth from college. Adam _still_ wanted to be here at _this_ house, with him, Ronan.

“That was quick,” Ronan said, turning back to put the bowls away, he hated clutter of any sort, and more than clutter, he hated waking up to a messy house.

“Yeah, I don’t like to waste water.”

“I can tell.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You just take short ass showers.”

“Well, I’m sorry I care about water waste.”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it.” Because Ronan didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. He just, couldn’t stop stressing that Adam didn’t know how to slow down and recharge.

“I know,” Adam paused to think, “Do you think I stink or something?” _Something_ coming out more like _sum-thin._ That happened sometimes when Adam would get insecure about himself; his Henrietta showed.

“No, why the fuck would you ask that?”

“Because you seem awfully concerned about my showers lately, it has me thinking you don’t think I’m clean enough for you.”

Ronan turned to face him, his back pressed to the sink, “I don’t think you’re dirty. I don’t think you stink, in fact, I fucking love the way you smell… its like soap and boys and cars. All of my favorite things. I just don’t understand how you get it all done in ten minutes,” Ronan turned back to finish up.

“Okay, well, as long as you don’t think I stink, I guess I’ll keep to my short showers.”

Ronan wanted to drop it. He shouldn’t let it bother him. Adam went a lifetime without Ronan telling him to slow down, he didn’t need someone starting now.

“I’m almost done here. You want to watch a movie?” Ronan asked, changing the subject.

“Opal is asleep under the coffee table again; I don’t want to wake her. She played hard with the cows today.”

Ronan laughed, thinking back to the cows and Opal this afternoon, and how when she is with animals, she seems more animal than girl. He looked back at Adam again, he too was smiling at the thought of the little dream thing. He loved how much Adam loved and cared for her. 

“Yeah, she’s alright sometimes, but I still don’t know why we bothered with the bed for her, she always ends up back under that damn table.” 

“It is a nice table.” Adam joked.

Ronan loved Adam’s ability to find the good. Even though Adam’s life had been hell, he always found the yin to Ronan’s yang. Adam had the complete opposite effect on him that most people did, say for instance his brother Delcan, if Declan declared that the table was nice, Ronan would have told him to piss off, but when Adam says shit like that, Ronan found he just agreed, and not only agreed, but found it to make sense.

He put the last of the dishes away and turned to face Adam, “What do you want to do?”

Adam looked tired. Ronan already _knew_ what Adam needed to do, but Adam would never say it, he would never say, _I’m exhausted, let’s just call it a night._   
“Maybe we could just put a movie on, on your laptop? And lay in bed?” Adam said, reluctance in his eyes, like he had suggested something stupid.

“Okay, a movie in bed it is,” Ronan said, and crossed the kitchen to Adam, he placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and then lead the way to his room… _their_ room.

Adam followed behind; the soft sounds of his footsteps masked by the sounds of Ronan’s heavy footfalls. They were calm water and crashing waves. That’s why they worked.

When they got to the room Adam pulled out Ronan’s laptop while Ronan stripped down to his tight black boxer briefs, “It's fucking hot in here Parrish, how are you wearing pajama pants and a shirt still?”

“It’s not that bad, besides, I don’t want Opal to see me walking around in my boxers.”

Ronan just shook his head at Adam, Opal didn’t give a shit about what they wore, she eats garbage and sleeps under a table for fuck's sake. 

Ronan climbed into the king-size bed next to Adam and leaned in to kiss his shoulder, a simple gesture, yet for the two of them, it packed a punch. They were still working on what was ok, on intimacy, on trusting that this was still their reality.

“Adam?”

“Ronan?”

Ronan wiped damp hair off Adam's forehead, “Did you touch the fucking thermostat?” He asked in all seriousness, his brow furrowed. 

“Ronan to my defense you had it set to seventy-one! It hadn’t shut off all day. The electric bill is going to be sky high.”

“Adam, it’s fucking summer. It was well over a hundred degrees today and the humidity was at least eighty-five-fucking-percent!”

“Well, I thought if I cracked the windows…”

“If we cracked the windows what? All cracking the windows did was let all the cool air out Adam, fucks sake, it's boiling in here.”

Ronan got off the bed and slammed down the hall like a mad man and Adam could hear him aggressively punching the thermostat down lower. 

“Don’t touch the fucking thermostat anymore. I pay the bill. I run hot. Please, Adam, for fucks sake…”

Adam just laughed, “Okay, I get it, I won’t touch the thermostat.”

This had become a reoccurring argument between them. One in which Adam always agreed to never touching the thermostat again, and caving to old habits his poor background pressed on him. Ronan would act pissed, and Adam would act like he wouldn’t do it again, and deep down they both knew they liked the fight of it. They both liked that they had this place where they were together, with different preferences and they could banter back and forth about it and it was theirs. And it wasn’t kissing or snuggling or even making love, but this small act of simply not agreeing on something as simple as room temperature felt intimate as fuck. 

So Adam would turn it back up again when he returned from school and Ronan would scuff and both of their hearts would race at the closeness of it all, not really knowing what it all meant just yet, but that they loved it.

“Did you wake up Opal? Stomping around like a damn stormtrooper.”

“What, did I wake up Hooves? No, Parrish, she is still under her table.”

Both boys looked at each other and Ronan saw the smile in Adam's body language before it even hit his face, and the next thing he knew they were both laughing.

“We fight like an old married couple sometimes, you know that?” Adam said.

“Yeah, _Don’t wake the baby,_ and _Don’t touch the thermostat.”_

“It is hot as hell in here,” Adam said, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the ground. 

Ronan’s eyes followed the shirt, and he wanted to be annoyed by the mess of it, but he too quickly realized the skin of Adams chest bared to him, and the distraction that it was, so the shirt on the floor was quickly forgiven.

“What do you want to watch?” Ronan asked, settling in next to Adam, the cool air of the ac blowing down at them now.

“I don’t know, you pick, I’ll probably fall asleep halfway through anyway.”

“Adam?”

“Hmm?” Adam said, lazily.

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll die tired.”

Ronan reached for the laptop on Adams lap, closed it, and put it on the bedside table.

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t have to what Ronan?”

“Die tired. You could take better care of yourself. You could tell me when you just want to call it a night and go to sleep. You could stay at your dorm every now and then; skip the commute here so you can catch up on rest. There are lots of things you could do. Hell, you could take a long ass hot shower, let the water run over you and just enjoy it. But you don’t do any of that…”

“Yeah, but if I did any of those things it would mean less time with you. And I think I would rather stay tired.”

Ronan’s mood shifted at those words, “You want to spend more time with me?”

Would he ever _not_ be shocked that this beautiful boy wanted him?

“You should know that by now Ronan.”

He knew he should. But he still felt like he was always waiting for the crash.

“I’m going to turn the lights off now Adam.”

“I’m not ready to go to bed… well, I _could_ go to bed, but I want to be with you. I gotta head back to school tomorrow. I don’t want to waste tonight sleeping.”

“We don’t have to go to sleep, we can just lay here and talk?”

“I might fall asleep on you,” Adam said with a yawn, as if his body and mind were already shutting down at the mention of sleep.

“That’s ok,” Ronan said, and flicked off the bedside lamp. 

Ronan laid down next to Adam, both boys on top of the covers, at least until the AC played catch up. 

“You asleep yet Parrish?” Ronan asked, jokingly nearly seconds after the lights were out.

“Not yet. But I can tell you this is a dangerous game you are playing.”

“Come here,” Ronan asked, his arms making room for Adam’s body to press into his.

Adam came close and placed his head on Ronan’s hammering heart.

“Your heart is racing.”

“Yeah, well, you do that to me, Parrish.”

“Mine is racing too,” Adam admitted.

“Why?”

“Because no matter how many times we do this; me in your arms, or the other way around, it feels like the first time.”

Ronan tilted Adams face up to his and kissed his lips softly, Adam leaning into the kiss, pressing his heart closer to Ronan’s, so they could beat together.

“Adam, can you do something for me?” Ronan asked, breaking their soft kiss.

“I can try.”

“Can you take care of yourself?”

Adam let out a little laugh, “Like get pedicures?” he joked, making light of the once serious mood.

“No, like, sleep when you are tired, and eat better food; fucking candy bars and sweet tea don’t count as a meal, and like, use the fucking cream I dreamt for you on your hands. I saw the new split on your knuckle and that shit wouldn’t happen if you just used the damn cream Adam. And like, say no to a shift at the garage every now and then…” Adam tried to interrupt, but Ronan pressed on, “No, shh, let me finish, because I know you _need_ the money, I get it. But like, you also, _don’t_ need the money. And before you tell me again how you are not a charity case or a mooch boyfriend, you _are_ my boyfriend, so let me take care of you too.”

“I think I liked it better when you were kissing me.”

“I’m serious Parrish.”

“I know you are. And I know I could do better at taking care of myself, I just don’t have much left to give at the end of the day, and what I got, I want to give to you.”

“Then let _me_ take care of you. That way we both get what we want. It’s a win-win.”

“I can try.”

“I guess that will have to do then.”

Adam kissed Ronan’s bare chest and let out a yawn.

“Roll onto your stomach,” Ronan said.

“What? Why?”

“Just fucking do it.”

Adam did as told, his bareback exposed to Ronan, his pajama bottoms riding low on his hips; two dimples present above his ass. 

Ronan leaned down and kissed Adams back, once-twice, then he started to run his fingers over Adams skin. Tracing swirls and straight lines from lower back up to his neck and back down his sides again.

Adam moaned, “That feels nice.”

“Good.”

Ronan felt Adams body relax under the weight of his hands, massaging and caressing him. 

“Ronan, I’m going to fall asleep soon.”

“Good, get some rest Parrish, we still have tomorrow morning before you have to leave.”

It was silent for a few minutes, Ronan, despite thinking Adam was sleep, continued to rub his back, just to be able to feel him a bit longer.

“Ronan?” Adam said, obviously on the cusp of slumber.

“Hmm?”

“I’ll start using the cream tomorrow.”

Ronan leaned in and kissed Adams shoulder one last time before he pulled himself into him. Their bodies finally cool from the AC, found their place together, tangled, and desperate to be near.

“Get some sleep, Parrish.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Ronan.”


	3. Travel Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter will include explicit sexual content.

Another day, another long drive back to school, another goodbye kiss from Ronan, leg squeeze from Opal and peck on the shoulder from Chainsaw. Adam Parrish never knew what goodbyes felt like until Ronan. He hadn’t realized that even when they were just friends, the goodbyes seemed different than any other he had experienced. Even when they were just friend _s_ he felt like something went missing the second Ronan and him parted ways; he would often find himself patting his back pocket to check if his wallet was there, and feeling for the old battered watch on his wrist, because _then_ he hadn’t known that it wasn’t objects that seemed to be missing, but Ronan.

Now, every time he hit the road in the black shark-nosed BMW, he felt what they portrayed to feel in the movies. He felt like his body and soul were in the car, but his heart was left behind, in an old barn house, with a boy and an orphan dream girl, and oddly enough, a raven.

Adam woke before the sun came up, his internal clock a son-of-a-bitch, because he never slept as soundly as he did when Ronan was next to him, so that meant this next two week stretch of classes was going to be restless. 

Adam rolled over and took in the sight of Ronan; his face was almost angelic, he must not be dreaming, that’s good, that’s safe; sometimes Adam needed safe. Adam’s eyes started at the tip-top of Ronan’s head, his black hair buzzed short against the pale flawless skin of his face, he was like a modern-day vampire, never aging, no blemishes, troubled and tormented by a curse given to him without consent; Greywaren. Ronan’s eyes serenely closed, no scowl or cocky smile present on his pale pink lips; was this what he looked like when he was completely at peace? If so, Adam wondered if he could ever help Ronan’s face look like this, without him being asleep.

Adam looked to the drawn window shutters; the sun wasn’t quite up yet, and if Adam had half a brain, he would let Ronan sleep until he was ready to wake up. But it was a travel day, and Adam felt out of sorts, and he felt panic stirring in the pit of his stomach and if by chance he did only have half a brain, he was going to need it for the next few weeks of school, because school was hard, and Adam was smart, but school was _still_ hard. And school was lonely, and here, Adam wasn’t lonely, and when he was with Ronan he was able to forget how being lonely feels and just be a glass half full. But it’s a travel day, and the glass suddenly is back to feeling half-empty, and he can't shake the feeling he gets every time he leaves, the feeling that _this isn’t a long term thing with Ronan, not like school, school is long term, and you can’t drop school, but Ronan most certainly can drop you._

Adam’s stomach knots and he feels his hands get clammy as they often do when he starts to freak out about things that inevitably are out of his control. 

“Ronan,” he says lightly, still not sure he wants to wake him. The second he utters the name he feels like he is being dramatic, and silly and needy, yet he says it again, this time a little louder and adding a small shake of his shoulder, “Ronan.”

Ronan groans, and rubs his face into the pillow, then, still half asleep, pulls Adam into his body. 

Adam lets out a sigh, he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.

“Is the sun up Parrish?” Ronan says into the top of Adams head.

“Hardly,” Adam says, into Ronan’s chest.

“It’s travel day,” Ronan says with an air of understanding in the simple statement.

“Yeah.”

“Are your hands clammy?” Ronan asks because they have been through this several times now. Adam explaining later, on the phone, when he arrives at school all of his doubts and fears and the way he thinks being at school will eventually drive Ronan way.

“Yeah.”

“Adam?”

Adam didn’t respond.

“It’s fucking cold in here.”

Both boys laugh, their voices husky, still lined with sleep.

“What’s it set to? Sixty-eight?” Adam asks, grateful for Ronan’s ability to make light of the situation.

“I’m not a monster Parrish… it’s at sixty-nine.”

“Ronan?”

“Hmm?”

“If my breath didn’t stink, I would kiss you right now,” Adam said, feeling an overwhelming amount of love for Ronan, here in bed, legs tangled, feet ice-cold, morning wood present.

“I’ll go brush my teeth if you do.”

Adam smiled at that; Ronan had himself a deal.

“Want me to go first?” Adam asked, because he _really_ did want to kiss Ronan, and although people kiss after waking up in the morning in movies, Adam for the life of him _could_ not and _would_ not do that to Ronan. 

They could technically just go together, brush at the same time, take turns spitting, and rinsing. They had brushed there teeth together every night for the past three nights. It wasn’t some unspoken sacred act they didn’t share. It just felt in this specific situation, they should do it separate, and meet up in the middle again.

“Nah, I’ll go, I have to piss.”

“Romantic,” Adam said sarcastically.

“I’m getting out of bed at the ass crack of dawn to brush my teeth for you, Parrish.”

“You offered.”

“Yeah well, maybe I’m a hopeless romantic at heart,” Ronan said and rolled out of bed, covering his morning erection with his hands, as if Adam wouldn’t know why he would be doing that, as if Adam would care, as if Adam didn’t have one as well. 

Ronan took a few minutes, and then returned, his face freshly washed, “You’re up.” He said and climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over himself.

Adam brushed his teeth and washed his face as well. Ronan called to him from the bedroom, “Adam, turn the AC down.”

Adam laughed and shouted back, “I thought I wasn’t allowed to touch the thermostat?”

He only heard Ronan grumble, as he made his way quietly down the hall and set the temperature in the house back to seventy-four. Like normal people would. He peeked his head into the living room and Opal was already out for the morning, most likely in the barns with her animal friends. Adam didn’t know if she loved the cows because she related to them being half-animal herself or if it was because they too, were dream things like her. Common ground being the key behind both sets of logic.

This all made Adam question what was his and Ronan’s common ground? For so long he thought it was just Gansey, and Cabeswater and Glendower. Maybe magic and loneliness and the need for a sense of family outside their own. It hadn’t started as any kind of sexual common ground, not for Adam at least. Or maybe it had started sexual to a degree, and Adam hadn’t realized it because he didn’t even know yet that loving a boy was anything he was capable of. And now that he loved this boy, he didn’t think there was anything _else_ he was capable of. 

Adam knew Ronan’s want for him deeper than friendship dated back further than Adam had known, he knew this because their late-night drives opened up conversations like this. With the windows down on the black BMW, and fresh dream items in the car, and a deck of tarot cards in Adams hands; these sorts of admissions flew off their tongues freely, the open road providing a safe place for covering ground that sometimes felt too heavy in a room, or when Ronan’s eyes didn’t need to be diverted to the road, and Adams hands didn’t have his tarot cards to shuffle about. But Adam knew that Ronan had always saw him like this, as someone he could love and call a lover all in the same, and Adam _knew,_ right now, in this moment walking back to bed, to Ronan to do whatever early morning kisses lead them too, that he was going to be ok. _They_ were going to be ok. 

Adam wiped his clammy palms on his pajama bottoms one last time and entered the room, Ronan’s smile growing at the sight of him – he made Ronan smile like this, Adam Parrish – Ronan held the blankets up for him to crawl in.

Adam climbed right into Ronan’s arm, most of his body on top of Ronan’s.

“Hi,” Adam said with a low Henrietta drawl.

“Hey.”

“Opal is already outside for the day,” Adam said, not sure why, but he often did this when things got intimate, he would say stupid shit. Maybe nerves, maybe excitement, maybe all of the blood from his brain was in his cock. 

“Good. We can have some time to ourselves before you go.”

“I miss you already,” Adam admitted, his cheeks blushing.

“Then let’s make it count,” Ronan said and pulled Adams mouth to his, their minty lips soft and easy. Their noses pushed together. Their breathing instantly intensified. 

Ronan pulled Adam completely on top of him and their desire for each other obvious, hard, and pressing together through thin fabric and designer boxer briefs. 

Adam, now straddling Ronan took his mouth other places, kissing the sharp jawline of Ronan’s face, soft, even after a night of sleep. He moved to Ronan’s throat, running trails of soft pecks down, then stopping to suck at his Adam’s Apple. Ronan arching up his hips at the soft pull of his skin between Adam’s lips. 

Adam loved to make Ronan come undone, Adam loved when the mood just shifted and suddenly they were _this_ version of themselves, the version that kissed and touched and moaned and got naked and eventually came. What Adam liked most about this version of him and Ronan was that he was good at it. He had to try so hard at everything in life, but with Ronan, loving him _and_ making love to him, came easy.

Ronan’s hands slipped into the back of Adam’s pajama bottoms and swiped gentle fingers over the bare skin of Adam’s ass, then pulling Adams body in closer and harder; helping Adam build up a momentum of movement and pleasure.

“Why did we wait until I was about to leave to do this?” Adam let out breathlessly.

“I don’t know, we wanted to cook dinner together and shit.”

“Let’s remember next time to do this more.”

Adams lips came back down to Ronan’s and kissed him deep, owning his mouth. It was a kiss that wanted more, demanded more.

Ronan moved his lips to Adam's ear; the good one, and whispered, “We should be naked.”

Adam immediately rolled off Ronan pulled his pajama bottoms and his boxers off in one sweep, as Ronan did the same. 

Being naked seemed to make them frantic. It was like the act of taking their clothes off in anticipation of what comes next made them wild. 

All of their skin came crashing back into each other. Hands-on now heated skin. Arousal greeting arousal, in a press and pull of hips. Lips swollen and messy, kissing hard; teeth bumping and lips bitten. Adams hand found Ronan’s erection, rubbing his thumb over the wet tip, then stroking him fully. Ronan’s head pressed back into the pillow, his jaw hung, and his eyes closed tight; if they both didn’t focus, this would end quickly; far, far too quickly.

“I’m gonna…” Adam started to say between feverish kisses.

“Don’t have to warn me, Parrish, just…”

Adam cut Ronan’s words off, covering Ronan’s mouth with one hand as his mouth trailed down Ronan’s body and disappeared under the dark blue sheets covering them.

Ronan opened his eyes and watched, as the shape of Adam formed under the covers and between his legs, his breath hitched, and then Adam was on him, his mouth taking Ronan in, deep and slow. Adam’s mouth skillfully driving Ronan to the edge of dreams and reality. 

“Adam…” Ronan begged, his hands finding Adam’s hidden head under the covers, pressing his long pale fingers through Adam’s hair, moving with Adam’s motions, encouraging him to go faster, to go deeper.

“Adam,” Ronan tugged at Adam’s hair, “Adam… drawer, condom…” Ronan managed to get out.

Adam pulled off Ronan and met his mouth once again, his lips swollen and deep red; this alone could make Ronan blow it all.

“Adam, fuck – drawer.”

Adam fumbled to open it and grabbed what he needed. His lips crashing back into Ronan’s.

“Adam, condom… If you keep kissing me like that, I’m going to be done…”

Adam smiled at that and sat back on his heels, tearing the wrapper open with his teeth and rolling the condom on in one solid stroke of his cock.

Ronan grabbed the small bottle and squeezed a good amount into his hand, then placed it to Adam’s erection and stroked him, saturating him in lube. 

Adam couldn’t be inside of Ronan quickly enough; he pressed a slick finger into Ronan and watched as his eyes became strung out and wild at his touch. Adam worked Ronan, prepping him and loving the control he had in the moment, because in just hours from now, uncertainty was bound to kick in and all feeling of control would scatter into the highway, and the nights sky and bad songs that played on the radio.

Adam could feel Ronan getting close, could feel his pulse, and could see his breathes becoming ragged, he kissed Ronan softly and lined himself up, both boys holding their breath and then Adam taking the plunge. 

Sinking into Ronan was Cabeswater magnified. It was every dream, come to life; when he was inside Ronan, he was the Greywaren. He moved inside him, Ronan locking his legs around Adam’s back until Adam bottomed out against Ronan’s ass. Ronan crying out at the pressure of Adams cock stroking his prostate. They stayed like this for a moment, or ten, and then Adam began to move again. The walls of Ronan tight around his cock. A slow pull out and a deep quick thrust back in until both boys were calling out for release. Adam quickened his pace, locking his arms under Ronan’s shoulders he held tight and began to pound into him. Each quick thrust hitting Ronan deep. 

Ronan’s nails dug into Adams back as Adam drove them both home, one last hard thrust, slamming into Ronan, Adam buried deep, they come, Ronan spilling himself between the two of them. 

Adam’s weight crashes down onto Ronan, his already softening cock still buried inside of him. The warmth of Ronan’s pleasure hot between their pounding hearts.

“I’m happy we brushed out teeth.” Ronan joked, still panting at the comedown of his orgasm.

“Me too,” Adam said, and rolled off Ronan. 

“We should shower,” Ronan suggested.

“Okay.”

“Together.”

“That sounds nice.”

Neither of them got up, both still recovering from the intense orgasms. 

“I have to leave after that.”

“Oh, I know,” Ronan said because he knew it all to well. He knew the days Adam had to leave before Adam even arrived. Ronan sat up and headed to the shower, “I’ll get the water running.”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

Ronan started to walk away, but Adam caught him before he made it too far, “Why is it always so hard?”

“I don’t know Parrish, but I want to believe that’s a good sign.”

“Yeah, me too.”


	4. Cracker Jack Army Man

Ronan startled from the dream to the sound of the alarm he had set for himself. Knuckles white as he held on tight to the vintage toy in his palm. Adam would kill him for this. He would kill him for dreaming alone, then hopefully, be extremely excited about the reason he was dreaming alone. A small green toy soldier, from a box of Cracker Jacks; a memory Adam had shared with him one of the nights they took a drive and let the words flow freely as June bugs smacked into the windshield making little popping noises.

Ronan looked the little green soldier over in his hand, it was just like the picture of the one he saw on google, it was the one Cracker Jack gave away the year Adam was seven. He thought about the story Adam told him, it was a memory of Adam’s he played over and over sometimes when Adam was away. He remembered the way Adam told it, how his voice was sure and how it sounded rehearsed, like he had told this memory a million times, only Ronan knew he hadn’t, he knew Adam had just probably _relived_ it a million times, when he needed something good to hold on to, when his dad was really bad, when Adams face was black and blue when he just needed something good to think of, Adam had most likely thought of this, of the Cracker Jack toy soldier story. 

Ronan let his mind wander back to Adam’s story as he rubbed a thumb over the small, poorly made toy.

_We had to get a part for my dad’s truck,_ Adam had said, _but the only one they had in stock was an hour drive away. My dad pulled into the gas station and I stayed put, like I was always expected to do – stay put, and keep your damn mouth shut – but for some reason that day, my dad asked me what I was doing just sitting there, he told me to get out of the truck and come pick out a snack for the road. I remember looking at all the snacks that had always been off-limits. I remember being so young, but still weighing out so many odds. Like, if I picked something too expensive, he might say no and change his mind altogether. And I wanted something sweet, but most of the sweet stuff wouldn’t hold me over all day and I knew damn well Daddy wasn’t going to feed me again. I was torn, I was torn between two things, a box of Cracker Jacks and a bag of plain Ruffles potato chips. They both cost the same. But one had something the other didn’t have to offer, one had a toy inside, and if I was lucky, it would be a good one, not some dumb lick-and-stick fake tattoo._

_I remember my dad asked me if I was sure that’s what I wanted, and I thought it was because he cared that I enjoyed it, and I said yes, I wanted that sweet and crunchy popcorn, but more than that, I wanted the secret toy. It was only after I said for certain I choose the Cracker Jacks that I realized it wasn’t because my Dad cared that I enjoyed my treat at all, it was because my Daddy had no intention what-so-ever to pay for it; he stuck the box into his jacket and walked out like nothing. I followed behind him, nervous and shocked, my Daddy had just stolen a box of Cracker Jacks for me. And that may have been the kindest thing he had done for me… and it was illegal. He barked at me to get in the truck and I did, then he handed me the Cracker Jack box and told me if I ever stole something he would chop my hand off, and that was my first run-in with fully understanding hypocrisy._

_I remember I took the box and felt guilty for being so excited about the toy inside now, seeing as it was stolen. But I tore the box open and ate a handful of the sweet and sticky popcorn and that’s when I saw the little clear bag, with a green army soldier in it. I knew kids at my elementary school that had buckets of the things, and here I was, finally the proud owner of one stolen army man, and I was the happiest I had ever been, and the guilt faded away._

Adam had paused and stared out the window for a while before he finished, _Anyway, I don’t know why I told you that, I just really loved that army toy… I wish I knew what happened to it, I would have liked to have shown it to you, like you showed me all your cool childhood toys and things. And you know the real shitty part of this story Ronan? They don’t put things like that in Cracker Jacks anymore, its always a sticker now. I think about all the poor kids like me that could really use something as cool as a green army soldier toy in a box of Cracker Jacks, and they will never get it now… and that’s a real drag._

And that was the last time Adam had talked about his Dad and Ronan had a feeling it was the last time he would hear about him. And he was ok with that. He was ok with Adam never speaking of that piece of shit again, but that story haunted him, the look in Adam’s eyes, Ronan knew he had to find that Army Man, and if he couldn’t find it, he would dream it; and here he was, army man in hand wiping the sleep from his eyes.

Ronan’s phone went off in his pocket and snapped him out of his trance; it was a text from Adam, he must have finally made it back to school.

**Adam: I just got here, my roommate is a POS. He didn’t take his trash out for the break and there are maggots in my room from old food. I have to call you later.**

**Ronan: I want to kill that fucker.**

**Adam: no one is killing anyone.**

**Ronan: I’m going to dream a bunch of fucking crabs or something and put them in his bed next time I’m there.**

**Adam: yeah, and then I’ll be cleaning up crabs instead of maggots.**

Ronan took a second to cool down, killing the roommate still sounded ideal.

**Ronan: call me as soon as you clean that shit up.**

**Adam: k**

Ronan felt his blood boiling, this rich, entitled fuck-face couldn’t bother to take his damn trash out and now Adam, who was already fucking tired from working all weekend and waking up early this morning – for good cause – and driving all day, had to spend his night cleaning up maggots.

Ronan wanted to get in his car and drive up to that stupid fucking school and burn the whole damn building down! That’s one way to get rid of maggots. 

Another text came through distracting him from his current annoyance, causing him to notice the green army main still in his hand.

**Adam: I miss you already.**

Gah damn, he missed Adam too. He wondered if it would ever get easier. If they could last the duration of a Harvard education. He knew right now, the way he felt, he would die trying.

Another text came through.

**Adam: look at this! They’re everywhere, I keep stepping on them and they are popping under my feet.**

A picture text followed, it was of the hardwood floor, little white bugs littered it, also pictured were Adams feet, covered in his tattered white high top Chuck Taylors and the sight of some piece of Adam made Ronan’s heart hammer. All maggots aside, Adam was back to school, he was safe, and for that, Ronan was already cooling off.

**Ronan: that’s fucking nasty, take a shower after you clean up, then call me.**

**Adam: should I get dressed after I shower?**

Ronan laughed. There were always jokes about phone sex, and nudes and jerking off on facetime, but they had never got past it being just that, a joke. For starters, Adams dorm mate was, obviously, a shit face. And while Ronan couldn’t deny secretly _really_ wanting a picture of Adam naked, he also wasn’t sold himself on the idea of phone sex, he felt like that was for couples who were hurting, couples hanging on by a thread and trying at all costs to convince each other they could make it work, they could survive the “College experience” without sticking their dick in someone else. Ronan and Adam didn’t need that. They were fine. 

**Ronan: don’t tease Parrish**

**Adam: fine… ttyl, maggot time!!!**

Ronan scrolled up and took one last look at the picture of Adam's foot, like the creep he was, and then put his phone back in his pocket and headed out to the porch of the old farmhouse. He looked around for any sign of Opal, it was dark now and normally she would already be clomping around the house looking for Chainsaw to pester, leaving dirty hoof marks up and down the hardwood floors. 

“Opaaal.” Ronan shouted into the night.

He scanned the property, and listened for her to come running home, but nothing.

“Opaaaaal.” He called again, this time, stepping off the porch and taking his cell phone from his back pocket, turning on the flashlight feature to scan the open space. 

He started to head up the gravel driveway, when he saw in the distance, the outline of the little psychopomp, standing at the foot of the road, an old fence the only thing separating her from the road.

He called out again, “Opal,” this time she looked over her shoulder, then right back out to the road, “Opal, I know you heard me calling you,”

He noticed she was wearing her oversized rain boots, and although he was in disciplinary mode with her right now for not answering, he felt a proud dream dad moment that she was being a good little psychopomp and wearing her boots to cover her hooves.

“Opal,” he squatted in front of her, “Opal, I know you hear me,” he said when he noticed her big doe eyes were bloodshot and swollen, his annoyance at her ignoring him gone now and concern kicked in.

In a much calmer, even tone Ronan asked, “Hey turd,” – turd being a term of endearment for Ronan, he needed to work on that, but he knew Opal understood, foul language being _their_ love language – “What’s wrong? Why are you crying out here? And why the fuck didn’t you answer me, I was… worried.” Ronan admitted because he was. 

Ronan’s emotions were kept in a box, and rarely let out. There were few things that could seep through the cracks of this box and even then, he hid behind a tough exterior, harsh words, a scowl on his face, and smart-ass comebacks. 

Opal looked up, her doe eyes extra doe-ish with the swollenness from what seemed to be a day of crying and a puckered bottom lip to boot, _this_ was something that could seep through the cracks of that box. She just pointed to the road, her little hands filthy, a solid line of dirt under each fingernail.

“What’s out there Opal, what did you see?” he asked, looking at the road now too, thinking he might find roadkill there; splattered and swollen, but all he sees _is_ the empty road, the yellow lines and the other side of the road, _also_ empty.

She points her little finger again, and in a small and shaky voice she says, “Adam.”

Why hadn’t he thought of this? Of course, this is about Adam. It was a travel day.

This morning Adam had left in a hurry, their shower ran too long, so Adam grabbed a stack of Fig Newton bars and a can of Coca-Cola – typical Adam breakfast -- and after trying to find Opal for a good fifteen minutes he had to leave.

“He had to go back to school. You know this Opal.”

“Adam.” She said woefully.

“Come on hooves, let's go eat some ice-cream and I’ll let you talk to Adam when he calls.”

The two of them headed back up the gravel, Opal reaching for Ronan’s hand, Ronan swatting it away and then bumping her with his hip; she stumbled to the side and shot him a grimace, only to realize his hand was now outstretched and waiting for her grubby little fingers. She smiled and pranced over to him taking his hand in hers.

Ronan couldn’t help but think of Adam in this moment, and the way he loves Opal. He did _this_ , this, holding hands thing, he started it with Opal. Whenever they walked he would always take her hand, Ronan would usually trail behind and enjoy the view of them; his lover and his dream come true, though arguably there were both, in fact, a dream come true to Ronan.

\--

Ronan lifted Opal onto the countertop, her hooves kicking at the cabinet in excitement as he scooped each of them way to much mint-chip ice cream, knowing damn well the milk would upset Opal’s stomach, but deciding tonight it was worth it. 

“Opal, stop kicking your damn hooves, you're going to fuck up the paint on the cabinets,” he shouted over his shoulder, and she obeyed; only to start again the second the ice cream was on its way over to her, “Opal, hooves!”

She grabbed for the bowl and before Ronan had time to grab a spoon for her, she began to lick at the massive scoop like a little puppy dog. “Opal,” he said, a spoon extended to her, she grabbed it and like an uncoordinated child began to eat. 

He pulled out his phone, still no new text from Adam, although there _was_ one from Declan, which he chose to ignore. He hopped up on the counter next to Opal and they ate their ice cream in silence; well, mostly in silence, Opal was slurping the green gold off her spoon, but other than that, it was a pretty silent night; without Adam here.

Right as they were both finishing up the ice cream, Ronan’s phone began to ring, a face time call. He pulled the phone from his back pocket and Opal started shouting, “Adam, Adam!” at the sight of his picture on the screen. 

Ronan slid his finger across the screen and on the other side was a freshly showered, extremely tired looking Adam.

Adam squinted when the call connected, “Where are you?” he asked Ronan.

Ronan scanned the room with the phone revealing where he was, and that Opal was next to him.

“Are you and Opal sitting on the counter?” he asked, Opal’s voice in the background crying out, _Adam, Adam, Adam_ , over and over again.

“Yeah, we had ice cream for dinner.”

“I think I might be a bad influence on you,” Adam said, his lack of sleep visible in the dark circles under his eyes.

“Did you get the mess cleaned up?”

“I did. Took forever.”

_Adam, Adam, Adam!_

“You better talk to this maniac before she puts a hole through the cupboards with one of her hooves.”

_Adam, Adam, Adam…_

“Well, put her on.” Adam said, his face lighting up at the sight of his little buddy, “Hey there, did you have a good day?”

Opal made a long face, not responding.

“Hey, what’s the matter, are you sad?”

She huffed and turned her head away from the camera.

“Opal, its Adam, I thought you wanted to talk to me.”

Ronan brought the phone back to his face, “She’s pissed at you, Parrish.”

“What did I do?”

“I found her at the gate, waiting for you; you didn’t say goodbye.”

“Put her back on.”

Ronan did.

“Opal, I’m real sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye in person. But if you go look on your bed you’ll find a little treat I left behind to show you I was thinkin about you.”

Her smile half returned, “Adam needs to say goodbye next time.” She said.

“I know, I’ll make sure I do next time, okay?”

“Okay, Adam.” She said.

“Okay, now go find the treat I left for you so I can talk to Ronan a bit before bed.”

The orphan girl jumped off the countertop in a hurry, her hooves making a loud clomp when she hit the hard tire floor, and then she was off in search of a goodbye treat from Adam.

“What’d you leave for her?” Ronan asked.

“I had a half-eaten box of Cracker Jacks that was leftover from my drive here.”

Ronan’s heart thudded in his chest at the mention of Cracker Jacks and was suddenly very aware of the little piece of hard green plastic pressing into his thigh.

“Too bad they don’t come with a cool toy anymore,” Ronan said.

“Yeah, I always think that. But the good thing about Opal is she would rather chew on the box any day over playing with some silly toy.”

“Hey Adam, speaking of Cracker Jacks, I wanted to show you something…” Ronan said, happy the moment presented itself so perfectly.

“Well, let's see it then,” Adam said, followed by a long yawn.

Ronan hopped off the kitchen counter and reached into the pocket of his tight black jeans, “You have to promise me you won’t kill me first.”

“No ones doing any killing tonight, I’m too tired from cleaning up maggots to drive out there and do any such thing, besides, if I was going to kill anyone it would be my slob of a roommate.”

“Perfect,” Ronan said and held the phone as still as he could, trying to get it to focus on the little green army man, identical to one that would have come in a box of Cracker Jacks when Adam was a boy.

“Is that…” he squinted at the phone, “hold the phone still Ronan.”

Ronan couldn’t, he was too excited about, so instead, he placed the toy on the countertop and pointed the phone's camera to it there, “Can you see what it is now?” Ronan asked.

“Ronan, is that a little green army man?” Adam asked incredulously.

“Not just any army man.”

“Ronan, is that a Cracker Jack box army man?” Adam asked, rephrasing the question.

“Not just any Cracker Jack box army man Adam, it's _your_ Cracker Jack box army man.”

“Ronan, if I was there right now, I would jump into your arms and kiss you!” Adam said, his smile fighting to be as big as it could be, considering just how tired he was.

“And then what would you do?”

“Well, I’d play with my new Cracker Jack army man,” Adam said.

“Can I play with you?” Ronan asked.

“No, you will be dead from me killing you for dreaming alone!” Adam joked, only half-serious.

“I’m sorry, I just needed you to have that one happy piece of your childhood back.”

“Well, I love it. I don’t like how you got it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“Would you rather I had stolen it for you?” Ronan asked, and both boys began to laugh. They laughed at a joke that was theirs, a joke they had together because Adam felt safe enough to share, and Ronan cared enough to remember. 

Adam yawned, and Ronan told him to sleep well and they were just about to say their final goodnight when Opal clunked back into the room, the half-eaten Cracker Jack box in her mouth and he knew it was going to be long couple weeks for him and Opal and Chainsaw without Adam there holding them together, but he knew they would be ok. 

They said goodbye, Adam not forgetting Opal this time and it was one less day until Adam would be back.


	5. I love you in English

Adam woke up from his last night of poor sleep and bad company and Adam was ready to be back home after three long weeks of School. He was ready to be mindlessly working on cars and sleeping soundly next to his boy, and amongst his favorite company, be it human or dream things.

After a load of laundry at the laundry mat, and cleaning up his room; emptying his trash can included, Adam hit the road by late noon, a few hours into his drive he would stop for what Ronan would call, _the ideal meal of a toddler,_ which consisted of powdered donuts, a Coca-Cola and a bag of Chex mix. He turned on the radio to an FM station that played hits through the decades, rolled down the windows, and drove some more as the sun went down entirely too fast. 

The road and the wind and the music all loud enough to block out a normal man's worries, but Adam’s worries were louder than humanly possible tonight. He couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom. He knew damn well he was smart; he knew he had studied and applied himself, yet a lifetime of self-doubt was a hard thing to just _get over_. Then there was Ronan, he also knew that there was nothing to fear, they were great, they talked daily; Ronan believed in him, encouraged him and loved him something fierce, but alas, the pit of his stomach felt like a lava pit. Maybe the donuts with a Coca-Cola were a bad choice.

A song came on the radio, it was beachy and happy, and it made Adam feel ironically worse. He hit the power to the radio and the silence was now more silent than humanly possible. Adam knew his eyes felt too heavy to be safe, but it was at the home stretch. And Ronan would be sitting out on the porch waiting barefoot, and Opal would be freshly bathed asleep under the coffee table in the living room and a blackbird; a raven, named Chainsaw would be perched somewhere near Ronan; and they were all waiting for him.

He had to get home.

He passed a gas station and considered getting another soda but that was just time on the clock, so he kept on. Beating his hands on the steering wheel to the annoying song stuck in his head, he sang, “Squash one. Squash two… Damn-it Ronan.” he said to the open road. 

Pulling out his phone the GPS says an hour to go, his eyes are so heavy now. There is a text from Ronan, it’s a picture of a green army soldier toy he had dreamed Adam weeks ago and below it reads,

 _Can’t wait to play._ Adam smiles and puts his phone back in the center console. He puts the radio back on and thank the music gods the summery beach song was over and a 90’s grunge song was on now. He turned up the radio and pressed on the gas, he had to get to the barn, _home…_

\--

Adam startled awake to the sound of the center lines, he was going fast, and he was headed off the road. He slams the breaks and the BMW spins off the road and hits the ditch flipping the car, sending it crashing into a tree. His face smashes into the glass of the window before smacking the steering wheel rendering him unconscious.

\--

The next time Adam wakes he is in a ditch, the BMW on its top and blood is rushing out of his head somewhere as well as his nose. He unbuckles his seatbelt with trembling hands and manages to find his phone before climbing out of the totaled car.

His head is pounding, and his vision is blurry. He tries to dial Ronan, but from the looks of it, his fingers and hands are broken. _this is bad,_ Adam thinks, his adrenaline masking the pain. Then he looks at the totaled car, _this is really, really bad._

He feels vomit rise in his stomach and his eyes blur before he loses all the junk he ate on the drive. Lightheaded, he sits with his back to a tree and tells Siri to call Ronan.

“You’re late Parrish.”

“Ronan, don’t freak out…”

“Adam,” Ronan’s voice comes out airy and panicked, “tell me you are okay.”

“I’m kinda okay. But we are going to need a tow truck…I’m so sorry Ronan, I totaled the car…”

“I don’t give a _shit_ about the car Adam, are you okay? Should I call 911? Where are you?”

“Ronan, I don’t need an ambulance, just a ride home and a tow truck.”

“Send me your location,” Ronan said, and Adam could hear Ronan was already in his car.

“From the looks of it I’m about fifteen minutes off the highway.”

“Drop me your location.”

“I’ll try but I think my hands are broken up pretty bad.” His Henrietta accent coming on strong, or was he slurring his words? Ronan couldn’t tell.

The location pin dropped, and Adam could hear Ronan’s car peel out, and his phone switch to Bluetooth. 

“Ronan don’t drive recklessly; we don’t need another one of us in a ditch,” Adam said, then turning his head to puke again.

“Are you puking Adam?”

“Yeah, I’m a little banged up. I’ll be fine.”

“Adam, I’m calling 911.”

“Ronan, I don’t need an ambulance and I sure as _hell_ don’t need an ambulance bill now that my hands are smashed up and I won't be able to work, just get here and call a tow.” And he hung up.

He sat back against the tree and now that his adrenalin was slowing down the pain kicked in. His head had a gash on the side of it as well as the bridge of his nose. His hands to some degree were broken, and if he was right, and he was almost certain he was, some of his ribs were broken as well. 

He placed his hand to the gash on his head and blinked several times, trying to focus. With no luck, he leaned his head back and passed out.

\--

The _next_ time Adam woke up he was in a hospital bed. The lights were low, and he was hooked up to machines and an IV bag. He scanned the room to find Ronan; no Ronan to be found. His hands were bandaged as well as his head and his nose. 

Just as he went to hit the nurse button she walked in, an older red-headed woman with a kind voice.

“I see you are awake; this is good news.” She said, walking over and checking a few numbers on his charts, “How are you feeling Adam? I can up your meds if you need me to, its all connected to your IV drip.”

“Where’s Ronan?”

“Ah, Ronan, yes, he is in the waiting room. Unfortunately, we couldn’t let him back without your permission as he is of no relation to you.”  
“He’s my boyfriend, and I would appreciate if you could go get him. I need to apologize for totaling his car.”

The nurse laughed, “Honey, I met the boyfriend, and I can assure you he does not care about the car, he’s more worried about you.”

“Can you go get him please.”

“Sure, thing hun.”

Minutes later Ronan barged through the curtain, his eyes wild and blown out, his hands shaky, the sight of Adams broken body leaving him dead in his tracks.

“I’m sorry about your car.”

“Fuck that car,” he said and finally came to Adam, trying to find a place on his face that wasn’t bruised to kiss, settling for his right ear. “They wouldn’t let me back here Adam, I had to wait. I didn’t know if you were okay and they wouldn’t tell me shit, HIPPA or some shit like that. And I didn’t know if you were okay, because they fucking wouldn’t let me back here…” Ronan said, his panic showing, talking in circles, repeating himself, never a different outcome.

They didn’t let Ronan back to see Adam because _boyfriend_ is not a good enough title.

“Ronan calm down. I’m okay, I’m alive.”

“Yeah well, you look like shit Parrish.” Ronan joked making Adam laugh, which was bad because this hurt like hell.

A voice came from behind Ronan, and he turned to see the redheaded nurse was back, “Yeah, you might not want to make him laugh, he has broken ribs.”

“What else? Is he going to be okay?”

“He is. Adam, would you like to know what all you are up against?”

“I guess, although, I’m more worried about the bills I’m wracking up laying in this bed with a morphine drip.”

Ronan grunted at that in disapproval. Leave it to Adam to be half-dead in a ditch stressing a hospital bill.

“Heal up first, worry about bills later.” The nurse said, opening a chart.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not a mechanic with what seems to be broken hands.”

Ronan huffed again and butted in, “Stop being a shit Adam, it’s not her fault.”

“I know, I apologize, my heads not in a good place. Go on, tell me the damage, I won’t be rude anymore.” Adam apologized. This made the nurse smile.

“It’s fine Adam, and you’re right, your head _is_ in a bad place, you have a severe concussion, so it’s a good thing your friend here…”

Ronan cut her off, “ _Boyfriend_ , his boyfriend.”

She smiled at Ronan, “Now _I_ apologize; it’s a good thing your boyfriend here called 911. You had passed out. You have two broken ribs. You are extremely lucky they didn’t puncture your lungs. You have a total of six broken fingers, a broken wrist, a broken nose, and you received stitched on your head.”

“Well, that’s good news, right? Nothing too serious. When can I check out?” Adam said, trying to sit up eagerly, and failing, losing all color in his face as the pain from his broken ribs hit.

“Chill Parrish, you have to be here for at least a week, right nurse? To make sure he is okay?”

The nurse laughs again at the overprotection Ronan has for Adam, “More like one night, we just need to keep you here for a night to observe you and make sure your head trauma doesn’t get worse. After that you will need someone to watch over you for 3-4 days, just to make sure you are waking up and such. And as for the ribs you are looking at about six weeks recovery time if not longer. Your wrist may take longer if it ends up needing surgery.”

Adam looked at Ronan, and he didn’t know what to say, or how to say he was sorry. He totaled his car and now he was going to have to ask him to take care of him, because who else was there to do it?

“Adam, are you okay?” Ronan asked.

“I just don’t know how I’m ever going to pay for all of this, and your car, and now you have to take care of me.”

The nurse looked between the boys and knew it was time to make her leave, Ronan waiting for her to be gone.

“I get it, Parrish. I get that you are independent and that you have something to prove. I have known you long enough to know that you would never in a million years take a hand out or ask someone to take care of you, be it financially or physically, or with me taking care of you and shit. But I need you to let me this time. And I know it's going to suck for you and I know it will kill you to let me, but I need you to.”

“Ronan, I fell asleep at the wheel, I should have stopped, I should have taken a power nap, this could have all been avoided.”

“Yeah, and I shouldn’t put so much pressure on you to always drive home, sending you stupid fucking text, and pictures of Opal and gifts I have waiting for you, but I do, so I’m just as much to blame her as you.”

Silence.

“I just really missed you. And I just needed so bad to be back at the barn with you. I’m so sorry I totaled the car.”

“Parrish I won't say it again, I don’t give a shit about the car, I can literally,” he lowered his voice to whisper for the next part, “I could literally dream a new one! But I can’t dream a new you! So, don’t fucking kill yourself trying to get to me. Don’t you ever fucking drive that tired again.”

Silence.

“You scared me, Adam.”

“I know, I think I scared myself a little bit too.”

“They wouldn’t let me in here to be with you.”

“I know Ronan, I’m sorry for that too.”

“I love you, Adam, did you know that? Because tonight made me realize how much I needed you to know that. I _have to_ be sure that you know that I love you. And none of this Latin bullshit. I just needed to say it… like, out loud.”

“I love you too.”

“Okay, well fuck, good. Happy that’s out there.”

Adam went to laugh again, grabbing his sides, only to realize that was a bad move.

“Okay, no more laughing, I hurt like hell.”

“Want me to push your morphine drip for you?”

“Yes please.”

Ronan got up and pushed the button on the remote control, and just stood over Adam, his eyes looked like they were on the verge of shutting.

“Get some rest, Parrish.”

“Okay.” He said, and then sleep overtook him.

\--

The next time Adam Parrish woke up he was still in the hospital bed, only this time Ronan was there too, and next to him on the bed was a tiny green army man. 


	6. Stubborn Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long. I was on vacation. Enjoy!

Recovery is a long road when the one recovering is stubborn as all hell.

Ronan Lynch already knew Adam Parrish was stubborn. He didn’t need Adam to break bones in a car accident, rendering him useless to know that his boyfriend was hard-headed. So, when Adam Parrish had nearly recovered after weeks of broken fingers, a broken wrist, and a few broken ribs, Ronan was relived. 

At first, Ronan thought this could be nice, it would force Adam to slow down, sleep-in, take a break from working. Ronan also thought it could be nice to be able to take care of Adam. Do the simple things like cook for him, tie his shoes, help him dress, and even, to Ronan’s selfish gain, help give Adam a bath. But what seemed like something Ronan could do for Adam and find joy in, had left Ronan counting the days until the Doctor gave Adam clearance to go about his business as usual.

And today was that day. Adam Parrish was free to get back to not needing help and Ronan no longer had to listen to Adam bitch about needing help.

Ronan knew Adam had _shit_ to do. Ronan knew Adam was a student. Ronan knew Adam was always low on funds and needed to work. Ronan knew -- and this one was becoming the biggest annoyance – that Adam would replace Ronan’s BMW he totaled, even if it took him 20 years. 

Ronan had tried to convince Adam to let him dream a new BMW. It was only a few years back that Ronan had dreamt a new car for Gansey after totaling Gansey’s car. But Adam insisted it was too dangerous, and dreaming was to be saved for important things. But Ronan also had a feeling dreaming cars was a sore subject for Adam because while Adam would never admit it, he hated that Joseph Kavinsky – Lord rest his soul – was the one who had taught Ronan to dream a car in the first place, and while Ronan knew he and Kavinsky never had anything going on, Adam seemed to always want to avoid that name. Oddly enough, Ronan also wanted to avoid any talk of Kavinsky, so this made it easy for both of them on the matter.

Ronan and Adam left the doctor’s office; Adam’s hand cast-free, Ronan wanting to hold Adam’s cast free hand; so, he did, despite the skin looking weird from where the cast had been for weeks; boney and dry.

“Well Parrish, you are cleared to do anything you want, what’s it going to be?” Ronan asked, opening the door on the charcoal grey Subaru STI Ronan had gotten when Adam started college, so Adam could use the BMW to commute. 

“I need to go to the garage and pick up some shifts.”

“Okay. That sounds boring, but who am I to judge.”

Adam shot Ronan a look, “Ronan I haven’t worked in weeks, I need to work.”

“No, you don’t, but okay.”

“Ronan, I already told you, I appreciate you taking care of me but you already knew the second I got my clearance to work, I would jump back in, especially with the BMW gone. I need to fix the Hondayota up to get back to school.”

“I told you I would drive you to school Parrish, that piece of shit won’t make it one way.”

“And I told you no. I don’t want you doing that drive twice in one day. Last thing we need is for you to end up in a ditch next.” Adam said, pushing Ronan’s hand away that had instinctively had gone to buckle Adams seatbelt for him, “I got it, Ronan, my hands work again.”

Ronan buckled himself up instead and started the car and headed towards one of the garages Adam worked at often when he was home from school.

When they pulled up to the garage Adam unbuckled his seatbelt and got out without saying a word to Ronan. He was only gone a few minutes before he was headed back to the car and Ronan saw hints of relief on Adam’s face. Adam was built to work hard, and he would until the day he died, and Ronan was just going to have to get used to that.

“Well?” Ronan asked.

“Yeah, looks like he's been pretty swamped without me,” Adam said, holding back what could have been a proud grin, but Adam wasn’t one to flaunt his pride, so a half-smile would do.

“That’s good. I’m happy you could find work so quickly.” Ronan said sincerely, because while it killed Ronan that Adam was oftentimes hard to care for, he couldn’t help but be happy when Adam was happy, even if that meant Adam covered in grease, hands aching and half-starving after a long day under the hood of a car.

They drove a few minutes before either of them spoke again, Adam looking out the window, flexing his fingers; enjoying their newfound freedom from the cast.

“You know, I could do it,” Adam said.

“Do what?”

“I could open my own garage and run it. Make a decent living here. Then we wouldn’t have to be apart so damn much, and I wouldn’t have to stress over school. I could just open my own garage and do what I do best.”

Ronan thought on this. He took a long moment to gather his thoughts and not say the first thing that came to mind, because what instantly came to mind were selfish thoughts and Ronan knew better than to be selfish with Adam. 

“What are you thinking Ronan?” Adam asked incredulously.

“My first thought was selfish. My first thought was that I would love that. You here all the time. A simple life. A dreamer and a magician; the shit we could do...” 

“And your second thought?”

“My second thought was _fuck_ that. Fuck you taking the easy road. Fuck me even considering letting you. You are finishing school. And I’ll continue to hate when you leave, and I’ll always be terrified to let you drive at night now and I’ll keep wanting to kill anyone who looks at you too long and I’ll always be jealous of your straight roommate for getting to sleep so close to you at night. But no fucking way Parrish, you finish school, that’s nonnegotiable.”

“You’re not in school.”

“I know. I’m a farmer and a trust fund baby, I don’t have to go to school. Also, don’t fucking compare us, if you did that you would realize you are too good for me real quick. So, just fucking don’t.”

“I’m not too good for you.”

“Whatever Adam,” Ronan said, not even sure why this all was making him so angry. He hated the way Adam didn’t know his worth, he hated the way Adam was so modest about how smart he was, and honestly, it had just been a long few weeks and Ronan’s head was all out of whack.

“Some one’s pissy.”

Ronan just gripped the steering wheel harder and drove faster.

“I wouldn’t really do it,” Adam finally said, “But sometimes I wish there was an easy way out for me. Sometimes I just get sick of having to work so damn hard for everything.”

Ronan let out a small grunt. 

“What Ronan? Say what’s on your mind. You sound like one of your farm animals over there, so go on, use your words.”

“I just find it ironic that you say you wish you didn’t have to work so hard for everything but when I try and offer you any kind of help you act like it’s a crime against humanity.”

Adam was silent at this, only rubbing his dry cast arm as he avoided Ronan’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m so bad at taking your help.” Adam finally admitted.

Ronan didn’t respond, he just kept driving, the silence heavy.

Was this their first real argument?

Ronan flipped on the blinker, heading them towards the other garage Adam often worked at.

“No, don’t go that way,” Adam said, putting his hand on Ronan’s that sat on the stick shift.

“I thought you wanted to go find work.”

“I do. And I will. But I think it's clear that you and I need to clear our heads first.”

Ronan’s posture stiffened, “What, like break up?” he asked.

“No… wait, what? Well, not unless that’s what you want.” Adam asked, suddenly doubting himself.

“Fuck no, I don’t want that Parrish… what exactly is going on?”

“I just thought maybe we could take a drive to the lookout point, watch the sunset, fool around in your car; something like that. That’s what I meant by _clear our heads._ I think we’ve been too cooped up, and I’ve been hard to be around, and I think maybe we could just reset.”

The color rushed back into Ronan’s cheeks. “Fuck Parrish, I thought you were dumping me.”

“No, I don’t really see that in our future, nor do the cards.” Adam smiled, “I’m sorry. I’ve been pretty damn stubborn lately, and you’ve been nothing but perfect and patient with me.”

“Lately?” Ronan asked incredulously.

“Well, most of the time really, but I’m workin on it. I swear.” Adam said, reaching out his hand to place it on Ronan’s neck, trailing his fingers up Ronan’s bald head. Ronan relaxed at his touch; it had been a while since the two of them had really shown any form of affection.

“The cards don’t lie,” Ronan said.

“Nope, they sure don’t.”

Adam leaned in and kissed Ronan’s shoulder, “We should go dream a new BMW, otherwise I might just die trying to pay you back.”

“Are you for real Parrish? I thought dreaming was only for important things?”

“Yeah, well, if I don’t let you dream a new one, I’m going to keep beating myself up about the one I totaled and there will always be a wedge between us. And there is nothing more important than you in my life. So, it looks like a dream car it is.”

Ronan shifted gears and the STI sped up, “After we dream up a new car can we still go to the lookout point and fool around?” Ronan asked, the trace of a smile on his face.

“I think we should do that first.”

“That’s the best thing you’ve said tonight Parrish.”

“I love you, Ronan. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“It wasn’t easy, but fuck, I’d do it again.”

Adam moved his hand down to Ronan’s hand on the stick shift and laced his fingers with Ronan’s. Ronan glanced down and their hands; his hand pale and smooth, Adam’s tanned and dry.

“I love you too, you stubborn ass.” 


	7. Growing a Forest

Adam was back to the old farmhouse before the sun had set. He managed to get all early classes for the winter quarter which meant he could be on his way back to Ronan by noon if he didn’t stop for junk food along the way. When he pulled onto the gravel road that led to the house he could see the shape of one very small girl on the porch and one reasonably sized person sitting next to her, sitting on the shoulder of the larger figure was the shape of a raven – he was home.

It had been a long few weeks away and Adam felt his heart race in the anticipation of the familiarity and comfort he would get the second he took the first step of the farmhouse porch, the small arms of the psychopomp wrapped tightly around his jean-clad leg; but mostly the warmth of Ronan’s chest against his, Ronan’s soft lips against his, their hearts pounding together. 

As the black BMW came to a stop Ronan and Opal both stood there, Opal taking Ronan’s hand in hers; Ronan pulling his hand away from her and wiping it on his black Adidas sweatpants with a disgusted look on his face, only to then take her hand back into his regardless of whatever sticky substance was there. This made Adam smile. Because at the core of Ronan’s tough exterior was a sweet Catholic boy, ready to love -- and well, hold the dirty hand of his dream child. 

Adam got out of the car, and the cool winter air hit his -- what seemed to be -- tear-streaked cheeks. When did he cry? He was so wrapped up in the sight of his family that he didn’t realize the immense amount of emotion he felt towards being home. God, he had felt so heavy for weeks; the testing and studying and working overtime at the shop and keeping up with the Joneses. The constant pressure to wear his Adam Parrish, Harvard face. The anxieties that someone might find him out, see the dirt under his nails, the cracks in his fingers, the hunger in his eyes; it was Aglionby all over again, only this time he didn’t have Gansey or Ronan or – Lord rest his soul – Noah. He was so caught up in the sight of the lights on at the porch of the farmhouse and the idea of sleeping on the new mattress he and Ronan had gotten last time he was here to even realize just how hard the last few weeks had been.

It was all crashing down on him now. 

Crashing down and yet lifting, up, up and away. He was home. Home was safe. He was safe. Ronan was here and they were good -- better, they were in love. And he had four days to recover and be weightless. So, he would allow himself to be weightless, and he would greet the heaviness that is Harvard when he was back there. But this time, this moment was for him and Ronan. And he was getting better at taking things for himself when the opportunity presented itself.

Adam was greeted first by Opal. He and Ronan had an unspoken understanding that she would get the first round of hugs. She was like a little puppy in a sense, always so excited when he returned. Ronan would often joke that they were lucky she didn’t pee all over the place when Adam arrived, Adam found that crude, but also accurate.

But even while Opal was hugging his leg and tugging at his jeans with dirty little hands, Adam's eyes were on Ronan. 

Ronan was cool blue eyes and hard features. Pale flawless skin with dark lines and traces of secrets buried deep. Ronan was a freshly shaved head and leather banded wrists. Ronan was water and Adam was earth. And Adam wanted to grow a forest in his chest with this man. 

“I see you made it back in one piece.” Ronan joked, as Opal continued to jump and prance around Adam’s body.

“I did,” Adam said, still unable to take his eyes off the beautiful face in front of him.

“She missed you extra bad this time around,” Ronan said, breaking their stare to watch Opal.

“Must’a been something in the air, I miss you extra this time around,” Adam said, letting his Henrietta show, as if often did when his guard was down.

Ronan let a smile slip, then pushed Opal out of the way playfully, “Go on now, go play with the cows before bedtime, let me and Adam say hello.”

Opal giggled and pushed Ronan back, then squeezed Adams leg one last time before galloping off to the barns happily.

“Are you just going to stand there staring at me like a creep Parrish?”

Adam smiled and decided yes, he still needed a moment to take Ronan in.

“I just need a little bit longer if you don’t mind.”

“A moment longer for what Parrish? Are you stoned?”

Adam couldn’t help but laugh, “Nope, just needed to get a good look at you I guess.”

“How do I look?”

“Like an asshole mostly…”

Now Ronan was laughing, “Fucking romantic Parrish.”

“But also, kinda beautiful and perfect…”

“Come here.” Ronan held his arms out, ready to receive Adam in full.

Adam having finally taken in his fair share of Ronan, closed the gap between them. Their arms wrapped tightly around each other, their faces in each other’s necks, their inhales deep; taking in the scent of skin and sweat and soap and lust. 

“I missed you something awful this time around,” Adam said into Ronan’s shoulder.

Ronan held tight, “Rough couple weeks?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I realized just how rough it was.”

“There will be weeks like this Adam, but you are smart as hell, you will survive them all.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t text and call as much,” Adam admitted, it had been heavy on his heart; not being able to even make time for a simple text most days.

“It’s okay. It drove me crazy. But I survived. We both have challenges ahead of us. But we both signed up for this.”

Adam pulled his head back to look at Ronan’s face, “Your eyes look like a stormy ocean tonight.”

“Your hair looks like dirt.”

“Fucking romantic Ronan.”

They both laughed, and their embrace became tighter and their arms grew a little frantic to find all the places that needed to be touched. They suddenly needed confirmation that this was real, so they sealed it with a kiss. Their mouths crashing into each other’s. Waves hitting sand. Dreams spilling out in a deck of tarot cards. The ley lines shaking. They both needed this more than they knew.

Ronan broke the kiss, his voice husky and low, “Let’s go inside.”

“Good idea, I’ve had to piss since Miller’s Liquor.”

“That’s not what I meant, but yeah, go piss Parrish.” 

Adam lead the way through the old wooden door, a fire was lit in the living room and Opal had an assortment of cans and twigs lined up in front of it. Adam reached for Ronan’s hand and their fingers intertwined. Adam tugged at Ronan, pulling Ronan’s body up to his from behind, making it awkward to walk, but easy for Ronan to lean in and kiss Adam’s exposed neck, which lead to Adam spinning around to face Ronan, pinning him against the wall in the long dark hallway leading to their room.

Adam pressed his lips to Ronan’s, their mouths melting together in a painfully slow kiss. Adam sucking at Ronan’s bottom lip, Ronan’s hands snaking their way under Adam’s infamous Coca-Cola shirt, sending a chill up his spine. 

Adam pressed his hips into Ronan’s, the feel of their want and desperation to be closer obvious. Ronan tracing his fingers below the elastic of Adam’s boxers, the skin there smooth. 

“I should pee,” Adam said breathlessly.

“Hey, you started it.”

“I should shower too.”

“Now you're asking for too much Parrish.”

“I’ll make it fast.”

“You always do.” Ronan joked, and headed to the bedroom. 

It was going to be a long night. 

\--

Adam peeked in the living room after his shower to make sure Opal was in for the night and found her in her favorite spot under the coffee table, her mouth covered in what could be dirt or chocolate milk powder, she was known to eat both by the handful. 

He quietly tiptoed to his and Ronan’s room, his feet bare and nothing but a towel wrapped around his lean body. The house had a chill in the back part, the heat of the fireplace not enough to make it back this far. Adam shivered as the cooler air hit his still-damp skin. He forgot his bag in the car when he arrived, too excited to see Ronan and there was no way in hell he was going out there now in the cold. 

He stopped at the thermostat and thought about turning the heat on, to take the chill out of the room, but thought better of it, since Ronan was a control freak over the damn thing. 

When he opened the door to the room, he found Ronan lying in bed with the lights low and the TV on; a movie paused on the screen, waiting for him.

“Fuck Parrish, put some clothes on.” He joked.

“I forgot my bag in the car.”

“Do you want me to get it? Or do you just want to borrow something of mine?”

“Whatever works, I can just wear a pair of your pajama bottoms.”

“What? You don’t want to borrow my underwear, Parrish?”

“Some things I would like to keep separate. Besides, I like you in your underwear, I feel like if I wore them it would mess up the imagery of it all.”

“Help yourself. You know where everything is.”

Adam crossed the room, a faint tan line still present on his arms and neck even though it hadn’t been hot or sunny in a month, Ronan’s eyes never leaving him even as Adam dropped the towel and quickly slipped on a pair of black and green flannel pajama pants, letting them hang low on his lean and sharp hip bones. 

This shocked Adam as much as it shocked Ronan, that he would just drop his towel and be naked. Although they had been intimate, and seen all of each other’s most private parts, the act of just being naked to be naked was still foreign to them. 

Adam realized he had chartered new territory between them and his cheeks went flush, looking over his shoulder he saw Ronan staring at him, his mouth slightly parted, clearly a little shocked and obviously aroused at the sight of him. 

“Enjoy the show?” Adam asked as he crossed back to the bed and hopped in with Ronan.

“Fuck yes, you should be naked more often.” Ronan joked.

“You told me to get dressed.”

“It’s called sarcasm.”

Adam only shrugged, “What are we watching?”

“I was thinking Willy Wonka… but now my dick is kinda thinking we skip the movie.”

“Pass up Veruca Salt for sex?” Adam asked.

“I’m not into girls.”

Adam laughed and pulled Ronan onto him, “Me either.” He said.

“Thank fuck,” Ronan said, crossing himself in a Signum Crucis, before lowering his mouth to Adams, and kissing him softly, Adam letting out a low moan of approval.

It was going to be a _very_ long night, but Adam felt light, and Ronan was part of that lightness, even as his body pressed into Adam’s. Tonight, Ronan was water, and Adam was dirt and together they would grow a forest inside chests together.


	8. Mutant Cat and Litter Box Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Back with more fluffy Pynch. This is what happens with Ronan is suckered into saying yes to Opal and Adam.
> 
> This chapter is for Jess 🐝  
> Sorry Stella, I’ll get to the smut eventually! 🤘🏻

Mutant Cat and Litter Box Expectations

Ronan came around the side of the barn quickly to the sound of Adam and Opal calling his name. In a world where people could dream up monsters, wake ley lines, tell the future, have children that were part tree--have children that were part dream, Ronan took no chances when it came to Adam and Opal. 

When he finally got to them his heart was racing, his mind thinking the worst, a few silent prayers lost, as he realized they were both smiling; Opal was holding the worlds ugliest kitten he had ever seen. It looked like it crawled up from the sewers of New York—a fucking mutant cat.

Without hesitation, he said, “No. Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

Opal’s posture drooped instantly, and Adams very rare bright smile faded.

“No, I don’t care how sad you both look. No fucking cats.”

Adam reached over to Opal and pulled the cat from her arms, its little claws getting stuck in her favorite oversized sweater. 

“Sorry Opal, his barn, his rules. I can take it to the rescue tomorrow, they’ll take good care of it, I promise.” Adam said.

Opal’s doe eyes, already sad by nature, managed to look even sadder. Ronan then looked over at Adam, his already big hands managed to look even bigger when holding the kitten. But it didn’t change the fact that Ronan hated cats. 

No number of sad eyes and big loving hands would make him cave. He would not give in, they had cows, lots of cows, and a raven, why did they need a mangy cat?

Adam began to walk away, the kitty in one hand, Opals tiny—filthy—hand in the other. Both of their posture defeated and pathetic.

Ronan quickly made a mental list of pros and cons.

Litter box, con. Shedding, con. Claw marks on the furniture, con. Hairballs, con. Dead animals as gifts, con. Assholes, con.

Pros, Adam, and Opal would be happy.

It was a no brainer.

“Fine,” he said, already pissed that he was an absolute sucker for these two, “The cat can stay, but with conditions.”

Opal charged at him, hugging his leg, and landing an overly excited hoove on his toe.

“Owe Opal, chill, you have hooves remember? You can’t just stomp on people’s feet.” He growled, sounding tough, but knowing damn well he was a pushover, and they both had him wrapped around their fingers.

Adam walked toward him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek as Opal continued to jump up and down thanking him.

“Name your conditions,” Adam said, handing the kitten off to Opal, who was surprisingly good with the little goblin cat.

“Opal, pay attention,” Ronan said, snapping his fingers at the psychopomp who was immediately transfixed with the kitten in her arms, “Opal, pay attention, or I’ll flush that little runt of a cat down the toilet.”

“No, Ronan. Don’t say that.” Opal said in a sigh.

“Then listen. You can’t eat the cat food? You got it?” he said.

“Yes, Ronan, no cat food for Opal.” She said, the kitten already asleep in her arms.

“You also can’t eat the cans the cat food comes in,” he said, as they made their way to the porch, it was getting dark, and it was past Opal's bedtime.

“I love cans.” She said, trying to decide if this was a fair trade, then looking down at the kitten and realizing it absolutely was a fair trade, she still had old boots, and that piece of the fence that broke off, and an old garbage can lid she had hidden in the barns to chew on.

“Opal? No cat food cans, do we have a deal?” Adam asked, his firm tone with her one of Ronan’s favorites.

“Okay, Adam, no cat food cans.”

“You heard her Ronan, she agreed. Anything else.”

They all sat on the porch; Opal completely enamored with the little thing.

“You two have to keep up with the litter box, I’m not fucking with a litter box.”

“Fine,” Adam said.

“Opal when Adam is gone are you going to be able to clean out a litter box?” Ronan asked.

“Yes, Ronan.” She whispered, as to not wake the kitten.

“Cleaning the litter box does not mean eating the cats shit Opal.”

She pushed Ronan’s shoulder, “Ewwww gross Ronan, Adam wouldn’t do that.” She said.

“I was talking about you.” He said pushing her back.

Adam smiled at the two of them and Ronan felt it, he felt Opal's happiness and Adams; he was able to give them that. He simply said yes to something they needed and wanted to be happy, and while it wasn’t his thing, he said yes, and look at them now. 

Ronan Lynch lived to make them happy. Even if he made them work for it.

“One last thing Opal. You do not use the litter box. Do you hear me? It's for cats, not girls.”

“I know Ronan. I don’t like to pee in the dirt anyway. It splatters on my hooves.”

Both Ronan and Adam laugh, and Ronan shook his head. What even was this life of his?

“You’re gross Opal,” Ronan said, but not without giving her an affectionate side hug and knuckle sandwich, “Now get to bed. The kitten will have to go to the vet tomorrow for a check-up, so it needs some sleep too.”

“Can she sleep with me under the coffee table?” Opal asked.

“Yeah fine, but I still wish you would sleep in the bed I got you.”

Opal stood with the kitten in arm, she gave Adam a hug and whispered in his ear, “You were right, Ronan can’t say no to me.” And then headed to her pallet under the coffee table.

Ronan scooted in closer to Adam.

“I heard that.” He said.

“Heard what?” Adam asked, lacing his fingers in Ronan’s

“Did you tell her I couldn’t say no to her?”

“Maybe.”

“I can’t say no to _you_ , Adam.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry for putting you in that situation, she was just so damn excited, and all she has is the cows. I thought the kitten might be good for her, give her some responsibility around her.” 

“We'll see about that. I’m still worried she is going to start shitting in the litter box.”

Adam laughed, “Well, it’s a good thing you’re not the one cleaning it.”

“You got that right,” Ronan said, leaning in to kiss Adam.

“Let’s get to bed,” Adam said, which had come to mean, _Let's go get naked and do things that make us feel good, before we fall asleep,_ to which, Ronan did not mind going to bed, even if it was nearly eight.

Ronan stood first and pulled Adam to his feet and they headed inside. 

They checked on Opal before they made their way to the back of the house. She was curled under the coffee table as usual, but the cat was nowhere to be seen.

“That fucking mutant cat better not be in my room,” Ronan said, and they set off to find it.

“Here kitty kitty,” Adam said into the house.

Ronan stomped behind, mumbling things like, _suckered,_ and, _mangy ass sewer rat._

Adam opened the door to Opal’s room a little further, the one that had her bed that she had yet to sleep in, and propped on top of the pink covered pillow, was the little black kitten.

“You have got to be shitting me,” Ronan said.

Adam laughed and shook his head, “At least someone is getting use out of the bed.”

They closed the door, locking the cat in the room for the night and made their way to their room.

“Thank you,” Adam said, as he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed next to an already almost naked Ronan.

“I hate cats, Parrish.”

“I know, that’s why I’m saying thank you,” Adam paused, then continued, his face sincere, “I always wanted a cat.”

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Yeah, dad wouldn’t let me—no shocker there—but I remember always trying to snatch up the stray cats that lived behind the market. I don’t know what I would have done if I had caught one, but it didn’t stop me from trying.”

“Well, while that story is sad, and I’m happy you are living out a childhood, keep that little shit away from me,” Ronan said.

Adam leaned into Ronan’s body, his head on Ronan’s chest.

“So, what are we naming the little shit?” Ronan asked.

“I was thinking Michelangelo, like the teenage mutant ninja turtle, because you called it a mutant cat.”

“I like that. Even though, it looks more like a gremlin.”

“It’ll grow on you,” Adam said.

“Doubt it,” Ronan grumbled, leaning in to kiss Adam. T

he dark of the room masking that, despite it all, he was smiling.

On a farm where he could dream a herd of cows and a little hooved girl, and where his father had dreamed his mother and he had dreamt a raven, they would keep the kitten—the worlds ugliest kitten—because even in a world where he could dream something perfect, nothing could beat the feeling of making his family happy when he was awake.


	9. Magic Naps and Energizing Showers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took me so long to post! I had actually almost completed it and my computer freaked out and lost it!! So somewhere in the black hole of my Dell is a very different version of this sweet and sexy shower scene. Warning: This chapter includes strong sexual content.

Adam Parrish was no stranger to things being exhausting. For as long as he could remember, he woke up exhausted. He would start craving a nap he would get to take before the sun even rose. He would go to bed exhausted. School exhausted him. Work exhausted him. His finances, his facade, his magic, his past, and today he learned that taking a kitten to the vet, was also, extremely exhausting. 

The only thing that didn’t exhaust Adam Parrish was Ronan Lynch. 

Ronan was in fact, the only thing in his life that made him feel at ease, made his tense shoulder go lax, made him fall asleep quickly and wake up refreshed, made his eyes focus without strain. Ronan Lynch was yoga without the stretching, and meditation without the meditating, and a nap without the shut-eye, and Adam was grateful he had the next three and a half days ahead of him to be completely and utterly relaxed with Ronan by his side--or closer.

Ronan handed the kitten off to a very excited Opal, who was waiting, rather impatiently for them to arrive back home from the vet with her cat, that was now worm free and pumped full of shots, a fresh collar on her neck that read, Michelangelo, despite being a girl on the later discovery, the name stuck--they did not believe in gender norms in their house.

“Who would have thought taking an animal to the vet would cost so much, take so long and wear you out,” Adam said, flopping back on the king bed.

Ronan slipped off his fresh Adidas running shoes and fell beside Adam, “That cat is part demon man. I don’t know how you two convinced me to keep it.”

“Awe, she’s alright, and Opal is distracted and happy.”

“Look at my fucking arms man,” Ronan lifted his arms to over them, showing off several scratches, “Is cat scratch fever a real thing?”

“I think so. Maybe you should go clean those up,” Adam said, with a yawn, “Looks bad.”

Ronan rolled into Adam and kissed him once on the lips, then hopped off the bed and headed to the bathroom to clean the scratches up, when he returned, Adam was asleep.

\--

Adam woke from the unplanned nap discombobulated. Glancing at the clock on the stereo, 8:45 pm. He was so comfortable he could easily fall back to sleep until morning, but his stomach called out for food and his heart called out for Ronan, so he forced himself out of bed and crept down the hall, trying to sneak up on Ronan so he could watch him unnoticed, just for a few seconds, Adam loved to watch Ronan in a moment, his face so serious, brow pressed tight. But he didn’t see Ronan in the living room or the kitchen. Opal was sound asleep under the table, her hooves covered in dirt, the kitten missing, probably in the bed they had gotten her that she refused to use.

Adam stepped out on the porch and saw Ronan, shirtless, walking towards him, an electric razor in hand.

“What are you doing out here?” Adam asked.

“I was shaving my head, it’s less mess to do it outside,” he leaned in and kissed Adams cheek, “You were out light a fucking light. I selfishly tried to wake you a few times, thought you might want dinner, but you wouldn’t budge.”

Adam ran his fingers over Ronan’s freshly shaved head, “I’m hungry now. What did you end up eating?”

“Chinese. Leftovers are in the fridge, I can heat them up for you.”

“That sounds good.”

They made their way to the kitchen, and Adam tried to insist he just eat the food cold from the little white boxes but Ronan wouldn’t have it, he heated up each thing up and put it on a real plate and together they sat at the dinner table, Adam eating like he hadn’t been fed in days and Ronan watching like he hadn’t seen Adam in days, and both of these things were true. They were both starving in one form or another. 

“Have you not been sleeping well at school?” Ronan asked, leaning back in the worn wooden kitchen chair from his childhood.

“I never sleep well, unless I’m here with you,” Adam said, covering his mouth full of Chow Mein.

“I never sleep well either. And when you are here, I just end up staring at you all night like a fucking creep.”

Adam snorted at that, “That’s not creepy, it's romantic. You’re a real sap, you know that Ronan?”

“Yeah, yeah, if you keep reminding me, I might try harder not to be.”

Adam knew this was true, so he dropped it and changed the subject, “I need a shower after I eat, I can smell the vet clinic on me, the smell of cat piss and alcohol are stuck in my nose.”

“Yeah, me too, I have hair all over my back. I’ll go now so you can hop in when you are done eating.”

Ronan stood to leave, but not without kissing Adam, Chinese food mouth and all.

“Wait,” Adam said, grabbing Ronan’s hand, “You could wait for me.” his Henrietta drawl showing up in his nervousness, in his admittance that he wanted to do something so intimate, something he had only thought of, after long lonely weeks at school, in the gross communal showers of the dorms.

Ronan didn’t ask any questions; he didn’t need Adam to be specific. Because whatever the reason was behind Adam wanting him to wait, whether it was just to have company while he finished his food, or maybe he wanted to sit on the toilet while Ronan showered so they could talk, or maybe it was neither of these things and in that case, Ronan would be both surprised and excited. But he would wait and figure out the rest when Adam was done eating.

They quietly made their way to the back of the house; Ronan started the shower while Adam brushed away the flavors of too much soy sauce and orange chicken. Ronan, still unsure of what happened next sat on the toilet while the water heated up; it should take a good five minutes before the steam would start to fog up the mirrors. 

Adam flossed, and used the green Listerine, he took good care of his teeth, they were the luckiest thing life had dealt him, so he never took them for granted. As he spit the Listerine in the sink the steam started to fog up the room, the air was heavy—so was their breathing.

Adam took a deep breath and found his bravery in the pit of his stomach, he mustered it up and stood in front of Ronan. He reached out shaky hands and pulled Ronan to his feet.

Closing the gap, he pressed his body to Ronan’s, and with his minty mouth, he gently pressed his lips to Ronan’s. There was no urgency behind it, it was just soft lips, on soft lips, slow, and drawn out, the suck of Ronan’s bottom lip and the stroke of his tongue over Ronan’s. Ronan parted his lips, making more room for Adam to take his mouth. Adam took the invitation and deepened this kiss, still slow, still searching. Ronan pulled Adams hips into his and felt Adams erection straining in his battered blue jeans. 

Adam's hands ran up the soft skin of Ronan’s chest, it was rough calluses on porcelain white; goosebumps broke out on both of their arms. Adams hands trailed over Ronan’s hard nipples, the steam thickens as his hands found the elastic band of Ronan’s Adidas running pants, he traced a finger under, a muted sigh escaping Ronan. 

Adam locked both thumbs in the elastic band and pulled Ronan’s pants down, his cock springing free, hard, and glistening at the tip, Ronan’s gaze never leaving Adams face, watching Adam’s eyes worship his body.

Adam took to work on his jeans and pushed them off as well as the rest of his clothes, Ronan did the same, finishing the job on his own pants, both of them very naked and very close and their skin growing sticky with the steam and heat of the shower.

Adam traced his hands down Ronan’s tattooed back and kissed his shoulder gently, the need for urgency lingering between them in the racing of their hearts, but Adam stayed level. They had all night. He wanted to take his time, remember everything about this; store it away for awful showers, alone, with other boys one that were not Ronan only one shower stall over. 

“Should we get in?” Adam asked, kissing up Ronan’s neck.

“Fuck Parrish, I don’t know what’s come over you, but I fucking like it.”

“Have you ever showered with anyone?”

“No. I’ve never done anything this… intimate, I guess, in my life.”

“But we have sex.”

“This feels like more.”

“I want to wash your back. I want to wash your entire body.” Adam said, his voice husky and full of something new neither of them had heard.

Ronan stepped into the old shower, pulling back the grey shower curtain to let Adam follow. Adam stepped in immediately started kissing Ronan under the hot spray of water. It was hard to tell if the kiss was messy or if it was the water pouring into their mouths. Ronan backed into the wall and pulled Adam to follow, their bodies touching, the erections pressing into each other; this may have started with wanting to shower, but they both knew this ended with something more than clean hair.

Adam dropped his hand between them, taking both of their cocks in his big hand; he began to stroke, Ronan’s head fell back against the cool tile and Adams mouth found his exposed neck and kissed and sucked as he jerked them both.

Ronan sighed, “Adammmm, feels fucking amazing.”

Adam released their cocks and reached for the bar of soap and began to lather, Ronan took the bar of soap from his hands and replaced it with a shower gel, “That one has coffee grounds to exfoliate your face, use this, it will feel better.”

Adam laughed a little, it did not kill the mood, only made him realized that you could be naked with someone, in the shower, being intimate and still laugh, that was comforting. 

He put the gel in his hands, the smell of summer, coconut and ocean came to life in the shower, and he brought his hands to Ronan’s erections and began to stroke, working him slowly first, then quick, then slow, going lower, lathering the soap onto Ronan’s balls, causing him to curse under his breath. Adam worked his hands around to Ronan’s ass and slid his fingers through is crack, teasing his hole with a slight pressing of his finger there, only to work up a lather and move on. 

Adam brought his hands up, took more soap and lathered Ronan’s shoulder, his hands reaching around, forcing them to be closer; he washed his back, the skin there raised where the black ink was. 

Ronan pulled Adam in closer still, the water rinsing away the suds, and he kissed him deeply and claiming, turning Adam around and pushing him into the now very warm tile of the shower, the roles reversed Ronan too washed Adam, starting with his hair, massaging his scalp his temples, Adam sighed, this was the closest thing to a full body massage he had received.

Ronan’s hands lathered and pressed into his tight shoulders and he could feel them go lax at his touch. This was what the good kind of power felt like, a power where you could make people turn to liquid at your very touch.

He took more soap and looked Adam in the eyes, through the spray of the water, his dirt-colored hair hanging in his eyes, waterfalls of suds and hot water dripping from them, Ronan wrapped a hand around Adams length and began to stroke. He kept his eyes on Adam's face, he wanted to watch him fall apart, but not because of something bad—because of something good.

Adam's head fell back, and Ronan worked his dick in long strokes, stopping to rub his thumb over the head, pressing into his slit, and then back down again. Adams body trembled as Ronan set a rhythm, faster, harder, letting his own knuckles stroke his erection in turn.

“Fuck, Ronan, so good,” Adam said breathlessly, and Ronan knew he was about to come, “I swear this wasn’t what I intended to happennnn,” he said, holding the ‘N’ as Ronan used his other hand to roll his balls.

“I know Parrish, but it did, and it feels good, so fucking good touching you like this,” Ronan said in Adams good ear, their bodies as close as they could be while still leaving room for Ronan’s hands to continue to pump.

Ronan brought his already wet lips to Adam's neck and began to suck as he stroked Adam hard and fast now, and then he felt Adams knees begin to shake and with a groan of pure pleasure the heat of his orgasm spilled onto Ronan’s fist and stomach and cock.

Adam sighed, then let out a post-orgasm laugh. He felt light. Maybe he should jerk off more at school; it felt like he just lost ten pounds of weight in that orgasm.

“Fuck Parrish, now I’m dirty again.” Ronan joked, and again, the humor in such an intimate moment felt almost as good as the orgasm itself.

“I would offer to wash you off again, but I think I might need a minute,” Adam said, pulling Ronan into him.

“I think I might hate showers alone now.” Ronan said, kissing Adams neck, loving the blissed-out look on his face, “We should get out and continue this in bed.”

“Hold on,” Adam said, pushing Ronan back a little, “I need to do something first.”

He dropped to his knees and ran his nose along the length of Ronan’s erection.

Ronan gently gripped Adams head as he watched Adam lick from the bottom of his shaft up to the head, pressing a firm kiss to his slit and then taking him into his mouth.

“Fuuuuuuck Parrishhhh.” Ronan hissed, his eyes intense and his grip a little firmer in Adam's hair.

Adam held onto Ronan’s ass for balance as he took him deep, sucking him hard, letting Ronan’s hands guide his pace. Each pull of his dick in his mouth a little further, until his nose was buried in the very well-groomed patch of hair at Ronan’s base, the tip of Ronan’s cock hitting his throat, Adam sucked harder. Ronan began to thrust into his mouth, little grunts escaping him. Adam tried to open his eyes, he wanted to see Ronan’s face, wanted to watch him fall apart, but the water was too much, so he closed his eyes and focused on Ronan’s erection buried deep in his throat. 

Adam reached for Ronan’s heavy sack and tugged gently as he took him deep once again and he felt it before it came, he felt Ronan’s dick twitching in his mouth and then the heat of his load came hard, hitting his throat, he sucked him still, milking every last drop of his come. 

Adam was the magician, but on his knees, making Ronan unravel at his touch was what true magic felt like.

Adam knew tonight would be a long one. Filled with all the things he was oftentimes, too exhausted to even think about. But when he was with Ronan, he found it easy to stay awake when he needed and sleep when he wanted. Maybe it had something to do with the naps he was able to take. Either way, at this moment Adam was full of electric energy for Ronan.


	10. Making Love, the more romantic way to Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter on my cell phone in one of my late-night Pynch moments and it did not transfer well, so forgive the formatting.
> 
> This chapter is explicit and contains sexual situations. 18+

Ronan was both pleasantly surprised and thrown off by Adams actions in the shower, the suggestion alone was not very Adam like, or Ronan like for that matter. They were friends and lovers, they were friends in love and lovers that were friends. But they were still figuring it out how to be both at the same time, or maybe they were still trying to figure out how to separate the two, but needless to say sex was still a grey area that they both equally liked, but feared initiating.  
Ronan hoped the shower incident was an invite to both more showers together and the start of more sex In general.  
Nothing screamed uncertainty like first love, especially first love with another man if you had never even considered that as an option, which Ronan was sure Adam had not.  
So when they both got back to the bedroom after their shower together, Ronan was even further surprised by the idea that Adam wanted a do-over of what had just happened, only this time between the sheets.  
“Ronan, can we just stay in bed, and be with each other until our insides dry up and we have nothing left?” Adam asked before Ronan had time to slip into boxers.  
“Are you saying you want to fuck all night... but like, in a romantic way Parrish?”  
“Well, that’s another way to put it, so yes.”  
“Come here.” Ronan said, beckoning Adam to him, “You don’t even have to ask Parrish.” Even though Ronan knew they both would, in fact, continue to ask.  
Ronan reached over and undid the towel that was wrapped around Adams hips.  
“Fuck Parrish, I love your body,” Ronan said dragging his hands down the lean architecture of Adams hip bones.  
With both hands on Adams hips, Ronan pulled Adam into his own hard and very much naked body and began to trail kisses up and down Adams neck until he felt goosebumps cover the skin under his lips.  
“Let’s get into bed,” Ronan suggested and Adam quickly scurried under the blankets, still unsure of his nakedness around Ronan.  
Ronan, however, took his time. He walked to the bedside table and found his own way to say “I want to make love to you all night, Adam Parrish,” by getting a bottle of lube and condoms and throwing them onto the bed next to Adam. Then in all his nakedness, with the exception of the dark ink that covered his back, Ronan flipped the switch and the lights fell dim, not off, but just enough that they could still see each others faces as they came.  
“Are you going to parade around naked all night or are you going to come to bed with me?” Adam asked, his eyes never leaving Ronan’s body, it felt like fair game.  
“Don’t like what you see Parrish?”  
“Oh, I like it alright, I’m just hoping I get to touch it sometime tonight.”  
Ronan laughed and crawled up to Adam, Adam held the blanket open for him.  
“This is all getting easier,” Adam said, as Ronan climbed on top of him and gently started to places kisses of his collar bones.  
“I like that,” Ronan said, finding Adams mouth and claiming it.  
They kissed and kissed some more. Long and slow kisses followed by heated and hard kisses. Adam wrapped his legs around Ronan and they began to move against each other.  
“You should get a condom,” Adam whispered in Ronan’s ear and Ronan didn’t hesitate he reached for the lube and condoms he had laid out on the bed and with his teeth tore it open and took Adams clock into his hand.  
“No, not for me...” Adam hesitates.  
“What? You want me to?” Ronan asked, an unfinished question.  
He was no opposed to doing what Adam had suggested. He always knew sooner or later Adam would get curious as to what it would feel like to have Ronan in this way. Lots of late-night, after sex talks had brought Adam up to speed with all of the different pleasures that come with being with another man, and while he had not been on the receiving end of some of those pleasures he had witnessed Ronan expending them, he had watched Ronan come completely apart and Ronan knew it was a matter of time before Adams curiosity would spike and he would want to experience that too. He just expect it to be tonight. But then again it had been a night of surprises and lines being crossed already, what with Adam suggesting a shower and blow jobs.  
“Parrish, you don’t have too. I love you fucking me. I don’t need to do this to get off, trust me when I say your dick is all I need.”  
“I want to. I want to feel you inside me and I want to feel what you feel when I’m inside you. I want every part of you.”  
Ronan couldnt argue with that, in fact, if he could find more ways to be close to Adam, to be inside Adam he would. Hell, if he could crawl into Adams brain he would!  
So instead of resisting the equally shared desire for this to happen, Ronan slid the condom into his erection and bent down to kiss Adam gently, “Are you sure?”  
“I’m sure.”  
Ronan dripped the lube onto his hand and slicked up Adam’s ass, then gently pressed a finger into him, “fuck Parrish, I might come just doing this.”  
He worked his finger in and out and then without warning gently added another finger, stretching him and working Adam’s body to relax around his fingers.  
Ronan pushed in deep and Adams body jerked and the sensation of Ronan hitting his prostrate, “whoa.” He said, and Ronan laughed.  
“I know right?”  
Ronan leaned down to kiss Adam as he worked him, prepped him. Grinding his body into Adams, the soft moans escaping Adam told Ronan that he was already close.  
Ronan pulled his fingers from Adam’s body and he smiled at whimper Adam made at the loss of him.  
“Are you sure?” Ronan asked, in no hurry at all but in every hurry in the world.  
“Don’t ask stupid questions right now,” Adam said.  
Ronan let out a cross between a growl and a laugh and with all stupid questions far from being asked in this moment he lined himself up to take Adam for the first time, to let the roots of himself be planted into the dirt of Adams body. To feel the walls of Adam grip around him.  
He eased in, and Adam gasped.  
“Are you okay? I can stop.”  
“It’s just, I don’t know, its really tight,” Adam admitted.  
Ronan pulled himself from Adams body, “Okay, we tried, and it didn’t work, it’s fine. I don’t want this to be rushed or a bad experience.”  
“Ronan, I didn’t say it was bad, It’s just... go slow okay?”  
“Are you…”  
Adam interrupted, “I’m sure, I won’t say it again, I need to experience this. I need you to experience this.”  
“Okay, just, try and relax, the hardest part is the beginning, then, once you, you know, make room for me, it feels amazing.”  
“Show me,” Adam said, pulling Ronans body back into his.  
Ronan lined himself up again, and as if they were one, they both took deep a breath and Ronan pushed himself into Adam, this time not stopping.  
Adam let out a whimper, and Ronan was unsure of the premise for it, but decided against asking if Adam was okay again, Adam had made it very clear they were doing this and who was Ronan to argue.  
Ronan slowly began to let his body rock into Adam’s. He could feel as Adam relaxed and welcomed him and so he began to move faster, and press deeper.  
As Ronan took Adam to the hilt, Adams back arched and he let out what Ronan knew for sure this time, to be a moan of pleasure. Adams hands pulled Ronan into him, wanting more of the sensation he just felt, and Ronan knew that sensation all too well, that secret hidden spot, the one that made you want more--Ronan gave him more.  
He pulled one of Adams legs up, the other wrapped around Ronan’s back, and Ronan began to fuck Adam. His movements became more frantic and fast, hard and deep. Adams head pushed back, his mouth slightly parted, his perfect teeth showing.  
Ronan knew he wouldn’t last long, it was all too much, being inside of Adam and watching him fall apart at every thrust of his hips, it was too fucking much.  
As if Adam red his mind he took his erection in his hand and began to stroke himself with the pace of Ronan’s thrusts.  
Ronan could feel Adams body begin to tense around him, he quicked his rhythm and as Adam let out a cry of release Ronan bottomed out inside of him, and let out his release as well.  
He rocked into Adam until they had both milked their orgasms dry.  
Ronan pulled out of Adam, and rolled to his side, kissing Adams temple.  
They stayed silent like this for a few moments.  
“Well?” Ronan finally asked, the anticipation killing him.  
“I’ve got come all over my chest,” Adam said nonchalantly.  
And they both laughed.  
Ronan got up and got a warm towel and gently cleaned up Adam and got back into bed with him.  
They were spent, they were relaxed, and while Adam didn’t say say that he liked it verbally, the different way he hugged Ronan said it all. They were two puzzle pieces that fit together in every way, and they were both sure the big picture of it all was an eternity of loving and fucking and learning. They were taquam alter idem.


	11. Jealous Slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a super short chapter. I wrote it late night on my phone. It was a prompt request I got on tumblr. 
> 
> I just finished a Harry Potter fanfic fest that was all consuming so I will be back with a full length Pynch chapter soon. 🖤

Ronan lynch was not the jealous type. But he was the, I’ll murder anyone that lays a hand on Adam Parrish—including is father—type.

He had been with Adam the last two nights, eating nice dinners, checking out the place Adam called home most of the time, it was a major college town, uppity, and the epitome of everything Ronan despised. 

But Adam was here, so he found solace in that.And Adam worked hard for this so ronan was proud. And Adam was covered in love marks and nibbles, so ronan knew anyone would be a damn fool to try and hit on him.

So when he showed up to get Adam after his last class,before they would both head back to the barn, and saw some extremely pretty, extremely Harvard type man-child-pretty boy-asshole, walking much too close to Adam, with a lanky arm wrapped around Adams shoulder, and a much too perfect and cocky smile on his face, Ronan was taken aback. 

And by taken aback, he was ready to lay hands. 

Ronan leaned against the BMW, and glared through his dark ray ban sunglasses, his lips were a hard and his knuckles popped as her geared up to lose his shit. 

So, maybe he was the jealous type. 

When Adam finally looked up from the overly funny conversation he was having with the man-child-pretty boy-asshole, and noticed Ronan leaning into the car, he startled, as if caught, but not because he was doing anything wrong, but because the look ronan was giving him was so incriminating he wondered if maybe he did, by chance, so something wrong. 

The man-child-pretty boy-asshole got one look at Ronan, than one glance back at Adam, connecting the dots, and he made a quick get away, with very little goodbye. 

“I didn’t know you were picking me up.” Adam said, brushing his hair back nervously from his forehead. 

“Sur-fucking-prise.” Ronan said sarcastically. 

“What crawled up you ass and died?” Adam asked.

“Oh, I don’t know Parrish, maybe the pretty boy with his arm slung over your shoulder.”

“Who? Gallagher? He’s alright.” 

“Gallagher? Please tell me that’s his last name.”

Adam huffed, annoyed at the games Ronan was playing. It had been a good couple days.He really hated the idea of Ronan deciding now, right before they headed back to the barns to make a scene. 

“I helped him ace a test, he was thanking me.” 

“Is that how men thank each other at Harvard?”

“I don’t know Ronan, what do you suggest? He punched me in the gut? Is that more fit for a thank you?” 

“Why did you say that? Did any of these assholes mess with you?” Ronan asked, defensively.

Adam shook his head and hooked a finger in the collar of his black polo shirt, revealing a neck of hickies and bite marks from the more experimental, more rough sex they had been having in Ronan’s hotel, without Opal down the hall forcing them to hurry or be quiet.

“No, you marked your territory so well, their scared to even say hi.” Adam said, his face showing just how pissed he was at Ronan lack of trust. 

“That little fuck weasel didn’t seem too bothered, he arm where my arm goes.”

“Ronan, he is my friend. He is dating a model. He knows about you and I get the feeling if he knew what you looked like before today, he never would have even dared put an arm on me.”

“Good.”

“Ronan, seriously?”

“Fine. Fuck! I’m sorry. I just don’t trust anyone with you.All these fuck boys running around, trying to get their dick wet...” Ronan leaned back into the car. 

“I don’t need you to trust anyone but me Ronan.And if you can’t do that you are going to scare if any friends I do make here and that is going to make me resent you.I love you. But I need friends while I’m here, this is hard stuff, and it helps to have people in your court.”

Ronan reaches out for Adam, and Adam did not hesitate to close the gap. 

“I do trust you.I’m sorry.”

“Good, let’s get back to the barns, I miss opal.”Adam said, placing a gentle kiss on Ronan’s cheek. 

“She’s probably are the whole God Damn dinner table by now!”

“It’s ok, we can eat on the floor.” Adam joked, and Ronan started the BMW and they were headed back home, and before he knew it Adam would be back at school, and Ronan would trust him, but he would never trust these man-child-pretty boy-assholes. 


	12. Wrecking Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by the prompt of Adam sitting in Ronan's lap. Enjoy.

Adam Parrish didn’t grow up in an overly affectionate family. In fact, he didn’t receive affection at all.  
Adam Parrish grew up with the opposite of affection—hard fists, cruel words, fast shoves and the need to be invisible.  
So, he oftentimes found himself shying away from the things that came with being in a relationship—slow touches, gentle kisses, words of affirmation and the ability to be seen.  
Ronan Lynch, however, grew up in the middle ground of affection and hard lessons, but he had the benefit of the hard lessons being taught with love.  
Adam, never learned a lesson out of love—until he met Ronan. Ronan was teaching him lesson after lesson. And sometimes they argued, sure—Ronan was hardheaded, and Adam was logical, a recipe for a good fight. But despite his hard-headedness, Ronan was good at saying he was sorry, even when Adam wasn’t, and with that came a secret language with their own brand of apologies.  
_I’m sorry._ _  
I know.  
We will get through this.  
I know.  
_ And Ronan was right, they did get through it.  
So, when Adam said I know, he was right in believing it.  
And so, it worked.  
At first both boys found themselves unsure of the amount of touching they were allowed.  
These things happen in new relationships, these things happened even more in _these_ kinds of relationships. And while there was more tolerance for gay couples, there was still a good amount of intolerance towards gay couples, so that put a lot of pressure on them.  
But they found their place. Holding hands in private became holding hands in public on occasion.  
Hugging when they first greeted each other went from a, _I missed you man_ , back-patting sort of hug, to a, _fuck I missed you_ , long embrace sort of hug.  
Kisses were something they still kept private, but even the kisses seemed more natural and often.  
And sex, well, the sex was really good—and that was that.  
So, when Adam found himself in Ronan’s lap facing him, Ronan’s hands trailing up and down his back in affectionate strokes Adam saw this as yet another milestone, another step in the right direction, a sign of healing from a traumatic past, a new level of comfort and most importantly, his new favorite place to sit.  
Something about it seemed so intimate. It felt like the ultimate curse breaker to all bad intimacy juju spewed over his life by his mother and father.  
“I like this,” Adam said, his voice tired, the drive was long, the school week was longer, and he could finally relax.  
Ronan continued to lazily work his fingers up Adams protruding spine—it wasn’t that he was overly skinny, just lanky—but that he was hunched into Ronan now, his arms around his neck, his chin resting on Ronan’s shoulder.  
“What, being home?” Ronan asked, because while he had a good inkling that it had nothing to do with being home and everything to do with being held by Ronan, he still at times needed to be reassured that this was really happening, and that Adam just simply liked being here with Ronan, in his lap, loving him.  
Adam nuzzled his nose right under Ronan’s ear, he loved that Ronan always smelt clean, “Yeah, home I guess. In the literal sense, but also home as in, I’m here with you. My legs and arms are wrapped around you and I am breathing you in. Something about being able to do this and have this, it seems surreal.”  
Ronan’s hands moved lower and pulled Adam in closer still, firm against his body, “You’re home for me too Parrish.”  
Adam’s mouth found Ronan’s and they kissed slow, like a secret language between their lips with no words at all.  
Adam could feel Ronan under him, responding to the weight of Adam in his lap—Adams body responded as well—but this wasn’t always the case. 

Sometimes the lap-sitting led to sex, sure, that was bound to happen. But more often than not it just provided a safe space for Adam and an opportunity for Ronan to get a good look at him. 

The kissing slowed to a stop and Adam let out somewhat of a purr and ground himself against Ronan’s body.

Looked like tonight, was one of _those_ nights. 

“Should we go to the bedroom?” Ronan asked, reading Adams body language, and signalling to the little psychopomp curled under the coffee table asleep.

Adam kissed Ronan one last time and then stood to lead the way, his neck still showing the remnants of love marks from their weekend together. The image of Ronan in macho, protective boyfriend mode made Adam’s heart race, even though he didn’t need protecting, he liked knowing he had someone willing to. 

They walked hand in hand, and they kissed as they made their way, and they laughed when Adam clumsily stubbed his toe on the door jam and they were able to say sweet nothings all along the very short span from living room to bed. Every form of affection was had, and walls were falling, but the best wall that had been brought to rubble, was the barrier around both boy’s hearts.

One that had seen the loss of his father, in cold blood, and in death.

One that had seen the loss of his father, in courtrooms and restraining orders.

Both had put up walls to keep themselves from feeling that loss again.

The two of them together were like wrecking balls, bringing those walls down to let in fresh air. New affection was born, and with that came new hope.


	13. (First) Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! This chapter took forever. I had NO time to write, so, every time I got a chance to work on it I had to re-read it to remember what had happened and where it was going. I hope you enjoy and hopefully life will slow down a bit so I can post more of our favourite boys.

Adam Parrish had never been on a real date. Unless you considered helicopter rides with a girl you liked, along with two friends, and one of the two friends sister, a real date. He did not.

Ronan Lynch, had also, never had the pleasure of a real date, unless you counted the back seat of a white Mitsubishi, pills, techno music and a few Molotov cocktails with the town drug (dream) dealer a real date. _He_ did not.

Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch had never had the satisfaction of a real date together, unless you counted dead welsh kings, dead friends, almost dead friends, and friends that talked to the dead, a date. _They_ did not. 

So, when they got into bed after a relaxed evening of hot chocolate and a jigsaw puzzle with a picture of a beach and a lighthouse painted by Thomas Kinkade on it, they began to chat.

Dates were brought up.

Or lack thereof.

“How come we’ve never been on a date?” Adam asked, he was tired, and when he was tired his Henrietta drawl showed up.

“I don’t know Parrish, maybe because we went from the great Welsh King hunt to you leaving for an Ivy League school. We haven’t had much room for the intricacies of a normal relationship.”

“I would like to experience the intricacies of a normal relationship one day,” Adam admitted, bringing Ronan’s hand to his chest.

“Yeah? I’ll take you on a date, Parrish, tell me where you want to go.” Ronan said, now bringing Adams hand to his mouth and kissing his palms.

“That’s not how it works Ronan. Your supposed to ask me on a date, and I say yes after I check my calendar--so I don’t look too eager. _When_ I say yes you say something like, _I’ll pick you up at seven,_ and I say okay. Then as you start to leave, I shout, _Wait! What should I wear?_ Ya, know, because it’s a surprise and all, and you say something like, _casual attire_.”

“Fuck, Parrish, how many Nicholas Sparks movies have you seen?”

“A few, my mom loved those cheesy romantic movies. She was probably dreaming of a man that would treat her right when she watched'em.”

Ronan rolled onto side and took in Adams profile, it was perfect in the light of the moon that came in from the open window along with the cool fall breeze.

A moment passed and Ronan asked, “Hey, Parrish, do you have any plans tomorrow?” 

“You know I don’t, I’m here for two more days before I head back for class.”

Ronan huffed, “No, dumb ass, just go with it, it's like, roleplay or some shit.”

Adam laughed, “Oh, I see, okay, yeah. Start over.”

Ronan took a deep breath and pushed back the smile that took over his face whenever he saw Adam laugh, it was a glorious thing—not a thing to be taken for granted.

He cleared his throat, “Parrish, are you busy tomorrow?”

Adam held back a giddy giggle at the game they were playing, it seemed so juvenile, so silly, but he liked it, he liked seeing this side of Ronan, soft and up for anything— _it_ was not a thing to be taken for granted.

“Nah, I have the day off, why, you need me to help you fix your car?” Adam said, playing along, but not missing an opportunity to take a dig at his boyfriend.

“No dipshit, I’m not Gansey, I could fix my own damn car, I wanted to see if you wanted to go on a date with me.” 

This made Adam laugh, he loved Ronan’s short fuse. Ronan let out another huff.

“Fine, fuck it, if you don’t want to do this I don’t either.” He said, defensively in true Ronan fashion.

“I would love to go on a date with you Ronan Lynch,” Adam said, the Henrietta thick in his moment of smitten-ness.

“Good,” Ronan said, smug, trying not to sound too excited—he was very excited. Not that he thought Adam would say no, but because Adam had said yes, and to a lot of people that may seem like the same thing, but to Ronan he would forever be grateful for the yes’s he got from Adam, because never in his wildest dreams--and he was a fucking greywaren, so his dreams were wild--did he think Adam would be saying yes to things like, _can I kiss you_ , or _do you want me to wash your back_ , or even something as simple as, _do you want to go on a date with me?_

Adam leaned in and kissed Ronan, their mouths tasted like fresh mint toothpaste and that always made Adam feel at home, kissing his boyfriend with freshly brushed teeth, before going to bed, in _their_ bed.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Adam whispered in Ronan’s ear, “My first real date.”

“Mine too.” Ronan admitted proudly, he could not be prouder to share it with Adam, “Now get some sleep, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow Parrish.”

Adam went to roll over, but before he did, he turned back to Ronan, “What should I wear, something dressy or casual?”

“Casual, and warm.” Ronan said, “Meet me on the porch at seven.”

“I have a better idea; I’ll see you in the morning.” Adam joked.

“Goodnight Lynch.” 

Adam rolled into Ronan’s body, and Ronan’s arms instantly found their place holding him, “Goodnight.”

\--

The next morning, they went about their day as normal, no mention of the date that was to come. Ronan took care of some ‘barn’ things and Adam studied for an exam and wrote some of a paper and Opal found the box of hot chocolate powder and ate the remaining six packets along with the paper bags the hot cocoa came in. Ronan finished up earlier than normal and passed Adam hunched over a dinosaur of a laptop when he walked through the living room to take a shower.

He stopped to kiss Adam’s head gently but was cautious not to interrupt, but Adam was already wrapping up for the day, his head was mush with the idea of a date with Ronan.

“Hey,” he said, and Ronan came back and sat in the chair across from him, a half drank Gatorade in hand.

“Hey, get much done on that paper?” Ronan asked, he always asked things like this, _how’s the paper, how did the test go, do you need me to help you study?_ Because he never wanted Adam to think he didn’t find his school life important, because he did. He oftentimes felt like he wanted to show Adam he was his biggest fan and support when it came to school, even though it took Adam from him so often, he had no room to be selfish, not with Adam—with Adam he would take what he could get and be grateful.

“I tried; my brain is mush today.” He admitted, shutting the T-Rex down.

“You need a new laptop Parrish.”

“I know, everyone at school has MacBook’s. But I can’t bring myself to get a new one when this one works fine…it weighs sixty pounds, but it works fine just the same.”

“Doubles as a laptop and workout equipment.” Ronan joked, “I’m headed to take a shower, wanna join me?”

Adam began to fan his face and in his best southern bell accent—which wasn’t hard to pull off considering, he said, “Before a first date, I would never.”

“A true lady.”

Adam flipped him off and Ronan headed to the bathroom with a quick goodbye kiss on Adams neck.

When Ronan came out of the bathroom Adam took his turn, and had decided that even though it was cheating, he would wait to dress until after he saw what Ronan was wearing, because despite them already having been together for a while, the idea of a first official date made him a little nervous and he didn’t want to get it wrong.

They both ended up in jeans—Ronan’s of the tight and black variety, Adams of the worn-in blue variety. Ronan wore a black hoodie with the words SUPREME in red and white on the front, Adam wore a green automotive repair shop tee-shirt that Ronan had once told him made his eyes look lighter, and a black zip-up hoodie, that had no fancy brand logo on the front, only an Old Navy tag on the inside. Ronan pulled on black boots, Adam struggled into white high top converse, and they walked together to the porch, saying a quick goodbye to Opal, with promises of a special treat being brought home to her if when they returned the kitchen table still intact.

Ronan let Adam take a lead and then followed, creating a gap, he was getting good at this roleplay stuff.

He gave Adam a second on the porch and then met him there, “Hey,” he said, and Adam turned to face him.

“Hey, you look handsome.” Adam said.

Ronan looked himself over and joked, “What, in this old thing?” and it was funny because he and Adam both knew that while Ronan was a simple man in many ways, he liked what he liked and often times they were expensive.

“I’m nervous,” Adam admitted.

“Me too.”

“How have we never been on a date?” 

“I’m a shitty boyfriend that never asked.”

“I could have asked too,” Adam said.

“Fuck it; doesn’t matter now, we are going on one tonight and that’s all that matters.”

Ronan held out a hand and Adam took it and they headed for the BMW.

Ronan clicked the lock and opened the door for Adam, kissing him gently before shutting the door and heading around the front of the car to get in.

“Where are we headed?” Adam finally asked.

“Back to the future,” Ronan replied, straight-faced.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Adam joked.

“It doesn’t make sense _yet_ ,” Ronan said, and Adam didn’t ask further.

\--

They hit the road, and Ronan turned on some music, it was electronic, but not the murder squash song, and Adam was grateful because there was nothing romantic about the murder squash song. 

“What is this, it sounds familiar?” Adam asked.

“Its Four Tet, they covered Black Sabbath, Iron Man, I can't stop listening to it.”

“Ozzy Osbourn ate the head off a bat on stage?” Adam said.

“How do you know that Parrish?”

“I don’t know, to be honest, its just a random piece of knowledge in my brain.”

“Yeah, well, this version is better.” Ronan said.

“Ronan, I don’t think any cover is better than an original, it's like, against the rules of music to say that,” Adam stated.

“I break all the fucking rules, Parrish.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It is a good cover.”

Adam hadn’t even noticed that they had slowed, he looked up to see they were are the Quick Mart gas station.

“You are taking me to the mini-mart for our date Ronan? I always knew you had a romantic side but this takes the cake.” Adam joked.

Ronan got out of the car, and circled around to get the door for Adam, “Don’t talk shit Parrish, it will all make sense soon enough.”

Adam got out and they walked up to the store, close, but not holding hands—sadly this was not the place for that sort of thing, and neither boy was looking for a fight on their first date.

The lights inside the mini-mart were the kind of fluorescent that made you feel the flaws on your face. The man working the counter was lacking personal hygiene and the bathroom had a sign that said, Out of _Cervis,_ the poor spelling made Adams stomach clench in annoyance.

Adam couldn't help but wonder if romance was dead.

“Okay, I know this place is a shit hole, I know that. But before you think you are not worth more than a Quick Stop visit, let me explain.” Ronan said, leading the way to the snack aisle.

“Explain away Romeo.” Adam joked, because this wasn’t what he envisioned for their first date, but he knew Ronan, and Ronan wouldn’t let him down.

“Okay, when we were laying in bed one night I was giving you shit about eating junk food for lunch, you told me that when you were younger you never got to get snacks from the gas station and that created some kind of obsession with the ability to buy them yourself now that you are an adult. So, the next part of our date requires snacks, I thought I would bring you here, and let you get everything you ever wanted as a kid, or even as an adult that never buys themself anything. It was this, or an expensive steak dinner, which we can always do next time when I have time to get a reservation, so for now this will have to do,” Ronan reached out and grabbed a box of Cracker Jacks—Adams Favorite, and handed it to him, “Go crazy Parrish, I want you to buy every snack you ever wanted, I want the total of our snacks to amount to what a fancy dinner would have cost.”

“Fancy as in Applebees?”

“Parrish, there is nothing fancy about Applebees.”

Adam reached out and grabbed a snickers bar, and shrugged.

“What else Parrish?” Ronan encouraged.

“Probably something savory, like,” he grabbed a bag of chips, “I love classic Doritos.”

Ronan reached out for the blue bag next to it, “I’m more of a cool ranch guy.”

“I like cool ranch too.” Adam admitted, “A lot of people don’t.”

Ronan reached out and grabbed another blue bag of chips.

“We can share Ronan we don’t need…”

Ronan cut him off with a quick kiss, that he followed with wondering eyes to make sure no redneck piece of shit saw, “Not tonight, tonight the only thing I want to share is bodily fluids.”

“Are we going to cut our hands and make a blood pact?” Adam asked, jokingly.

“You are a morbid fucker Parrish, you know that?”

Adam laughed and they both started to grab at the snacks.

With every two candy bars that Adam took, Ronan grabbed three. Their arms were full, of bags of chips in every flavor; spicy, kettle, cheese, ranch, jalapeno, and even odd flavors like, dill pickle and Maui onion. Ronan grabbed a handheld basket when they had no more arm space. Gummy candies were next, some were cinnamon and bear-shaped, some were twin snakes, some were kids, not just any kids, sour patch kids.

They headed to the drink station and Adam poured himself an icee, coke and cherry flavored. Ronan followed suit, only his was all blueberry.

“You think we have enough?” Ronan asked, his smile wild and free.

“I can't answer that given I don’t even know what these snacks are for, but if they are by chance for us to go into a bunker for ten years, then yes, I think we should be okay.”

“Perfect, let's get out of here so we don’t miss the good part.”

Adam still had no clue what Ronan had planned next, but he was wrong in taking the Quick stop as romance being dead, it was alive, so alive between the two of them, and even under the unforgiving flourecent lights, as Ronan paid with a flat black bank card Adam knew there was no greater date for them, than this…so far. Ronan had something else up his sleeve and Adam knew that it didn’t matter what-so-ever what it was.

The cashier handed them four bags of junk and their icee drinks, despite the cool night, and they headed to the next part of the date.

They drove a little further, both wearing leftover smiles from the simple act of getting all the junk food they could ever imagine they would want to eat. 

Adam couldn’t take his eyes off his date. He couldn’t take his eyes off Ronan, and he couldn’t help but think this was what he always looked like before his father passed. 

There was no _before_ version of Adam--not really. There was only Adam the poor kid trying to fit in before he met the gang, and now Adam the poor adult trying to fit in.

But there was no need to fit in with Ronan--not really. He was just himself and Ronan could be himself and both of them were tragic and misfits and because of that they were perfect. 

For the second time tonight Adam had missed the car slowing by the distraction that was Ronan Lynch and had Ronan not told him to look up, Adam would have missed the next part of the date.

He looked out the window and on an old sign the glass plated letters spelt out, _Back to the Future_ and _Back to the Future 2._ Below the movie titles, someone had put the quote, _Great Scott._

And Adam finally knew the second part of his date and why the snacks were so perfect; you can't go to the drive-in movie theater and not have snacks.

“Have you seen this one yet Parrish? It’s a classic, one of my all-time favorite movies.”

Adam realized two things at this moment, the first being he hadn’t really seen many movies, so no, he had not seen the classic Back to the Future, he had seen people wear shirts with the crazy looking scientist, and the dude in the down vest, and the silver car--of course he had known the silver car, but he had never seen the film. Since he was young the TV was reserved for sports and NASCAR and his moms soap operas and daytime dramas—not for kids, and most certainly not for Adam.

The other thing he realized was that he did not know this random fact about Ronan, he knew lots of random facts, like the Ozzy Osbourn fact, but he did not know this was one of Ronan’s favorite movies. 

He wanted to know every little, random, hidden fact about Ronan Lynch. Adam wanted to know his every want and desire, his annoyances and his bad habit’s, he wanted to know what Ronan struggled with and what he hide in the depths of his soul from the world. Adam wanted to split Ronan open and crawl into him for a winter, warm and cozy; hibernating in the shell of his body.

“I haven’t seen it, no. I haven’t seen a lot of movies,” Adam finally replied after a long moment.

“Well, it's fucking amazing, and I swear to God one day I will dream a flux capacitor and we are going to get the fuck out of here."

“Whats a flux capacitor?”

“Soon Parrish, soon you will know,” Ronan said, as he took the receipt from the ticket booth and drove into the big lot.

There were only 6 other cars, and Adam couldn’t help but wonder how good this movie was if only 6 people came to watch, but he trusted Ronan’s judgement.

Ronan parked the car and tuned in on the radio, 97.7 AM, and classic movie theater music played and a vintage cartoon of a cup and a box of popcorn danced off the screen.

Ronan leaned over and kissed Adams cheek, “Thanks for coming on a date with me.”

“Thanks for inviting me.” Adams smile gleamed.

The opening credits started, a Universal film, Steven Spielberg presents, and then the sound of clocks ticking, Ronan looked at the screen, then back to Adam, his excitement to share his childhood favorite with Adam obvious.

More clocks ticking, Adam reached over and laced his fingers with Ronan’s. They were doing this—really doing this, dates and favorite movies and being in love and all was right in a world of magic and dreams and ley lines and boys kissing boys. 

“Your hands are clammy,” Adam said, noticing this very un-Ronan-like characteristic. 

“I’m nervous.”

“Still? I think the date is going pretty well, you don’t have to be nervous.”

“No, it's not the date making me nervous now…” Ronan paused, to watch the screen, taking in the movie he had seen a hundred times.

“What is it then?”

“It’s the movie,” Ronan said.

“Do you want to elaborate?”

“It’s just, if you don’t like it, I’m going to have to dump you,” Ronan said, and Adam tried to find a hint of humour behind these words, but Ronan was dead serious.

Adam smiled at this. He didn’t want to be dumped, and he found it slightly absurd that Ronan would consider dumping him over a movie but hadn’t batted an eye at Adam for crashing his car. 

Adam reached for the snacks, and opened a bag of chips, then another, and then one more. The car instantly smelt of salty flavoring, packed into the form of powdered goodness covering fried potatoes. He handed Ronan his bag of treats and Ronan proceeded to take out the classic movie snack that was M&M’s and pour half the bag into his mouth at once. 

They both sat back and Adam watched Ronan instead of the movie, his shoulders tense, his jaw ridged. He decided to give his boyfriend peace of mind.

“Don’t worry Ronan.”

“About what?”

“If I’ll love the movie or not. I already know I love it.” Adam said.

“How, were only approximately 6 minutes in.”

Adam chuckled, “I know I love it because you love it, and I find joy in anything that means this much to you.”

Ronan glanced over at Adam, his shoulders relaxed with a sigh.

“Fuck, I needed to hear that. I know it seems silly that I love this movie so much, but it was me and my Dad's thing, and I didnt realize how important it was for me, for you to love it too," Ronan smiled, "I would have hated to end things after our first date.”

This time, Adam heard the humor he searched for moments ago.

“I think Marty McFly is handsome,” Adam said.

“Yeah, me too.” Ronan said, “He was my childhood crush.” He admitted.

“Who’s your adult crush?” Adam asked, meaning in the sense of celebrities.

“You,” Ronan said.

And although Adam already knew that, he loved that the first person that came to mind for Ronan was him.

“You're my crush too,” Adam said, leaning in to kiss Ronans cheek.

“I know,” Ronan said, and they both laughed, and the movie played and the snacks were eaten—but not all of them, and they found chances to kiss—because Ronan knew the parts that weren’t _that_ important, and it was in fact, the perfect date, and Adam loved the movie as he knew he would, and on the drive home, Adam would try to think up a million perfect dates to take Ronan on, because he wanted to date him forever.


	14. It's a Beautiful War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, life was hard, I was sad, this chapter might be a reflection of that. Enjoy.

“Are we just not going to talk about the elephant in the room?” Adam said, taking a seat in the rocking chair across from Ronan instead of the space next to him on the couch.  
The air was thick, the mood heavy, like a humid storm cloud of emotions creating tiny beads of perspiration across Adams upper lip and Ronan’s hairline.  
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Parrish?” Ronan said, avoiding eye contact, his focus on the leather bands on his wrist, plucking at the fray from his constant fucking with them.  
“So, I’m Parrish again? Why? Because you’re mad? Because you’re jealous? What?” Adam challenged. They both knew these were questions that needed answers and those answers would only lead to a fight—they were not good at fighting.  
They had mastered jokes, and mealtimes—intimacy was a gold medal performance every time—but fighting, this was new—this was uncharted territory.  
“I’m not fucking jealous,” Ronan said, finally looking up, his eyes a storm of blues and blacks and something wicked and unknown.  
“But you’re mad enough to call me Parrish?”  
“I don’t know what you want me to say, _Adam_ ,” Ronan said, mimicking.   
Adam shook his head at the sarcasm, he wasn’t in the mood, “Oh, that’s rich Ronan, considering you’re the one acting some sort of way right now, not explaining shit to me. I’m not going to sit around and guess, I have homework—lots of it—not that you have any idea what that feels like seeing as how you never gave a shit.”  
Ronan let out a long exhale, his eyebrows pursed, “Is it me, Adam? Is it me that’s acting weird? Because I start to think it’s me and I think, fuck Ronan, you are such a dick, Adam doesn’t deserve this, but then you say some shit like that and I think that maybe, just maybe it’s you who has something to say. Maybe it’s _you_ who’s being the dick to _me_ this time.”  
“I don’t have time for this shit tonight. I’m gonna head back to school, I can’t focus here.”  
“Fine go. I’ll just be here, waiting—like I always do.”  
“No one told you to wait Ronan. No one told you to slag off at Aglionby. No one told you to skip college and become a farmer. You chose all that on your own.”  
“I think you’re right Parrish. I think you should go.”  
“Yeah I know, don’t worry, I’ll do what is easy for _you_.”  
“You’re the one that’s fucking leaving.”  
“You’re the one not telling me what the hell I did to deserve this weird, cold shoulder, silent treatment shit. I drove her to be with _you_ Ronan. Don’t forget that.”  
“Yeah, yeah Parrish, don’t do me any favors--the loser Ronan Lynch and his need for a sympathetic, enabling boyfriend.”  
“Don’t forget when the time comes Ronan, that _you_ said that, not me.”  
“If you’re leaving, go now, so you don’t miss the Friday night frat party.”  
“Yeah, you know what fuck you, Ronan,” Adam said, pushing back his want to punch things, pushing back his want to become everything his father was when _he_ got mad.  
“It wouldn’t be the first time Parrish.”  
“And it won’t be the last with that attitude. Text me when you’re ready to talk like a fucking adult.”  
“Why don’t you text me when you’re ready to admit that something is bothering you and you’re deflecting that shit on me.”  
“Yeah, whatever Ronan, go dream a fucking conversation between us where you’re not being a dick.”  
“You knew what I was when this started,” Ronan said, his voice one notch away from shouting.  
“When what started? Me and you? Well, things change.” Adam grabbed his keys from the bowl on the coffee table and headed for the door.  
“You’re going to leave after you say some shit like that?”—Adam didn’t turn back—“I think you can’t see it, Parrish, because your head is so far up your college friends ass holes, but you’re a dick too, it’s not just me carrying the title for that one anymore.” Ronan hollered.   
But Adam didn’t hear it, because he didn’t stop to listen, he didn’t stay to find out if he was, in fact, like his father when he was angry enough, he didn’t want to break any walls—or knuckles, so he left before he did.  
  
—  
  
It had been three days since Adam had stormed off and as certain as Ronan was that Adam was the one to blame for the fight in the moment--he wasn’t so sure anymore.  


On the first day after Adam had left, Ronan just felt numb. His brain was vacant, devoid any true feelings on the matter. He would try to process, to replay the fight, but he kept coming up short. Unable to go there mentally. So, he took a shower and went to bed at 7:40 pm despite having barn shit he needed to do.  
After a comatose of 9 hours Ronan woke startled, drenched in sweat from a nightmare, only to realize that the nightmare wasn’t as scary as his reality—Adam was gone—Adam didn’t say goodbye—Adam had said things had _changed_.  
Ronan knew _things change._ He knew couples grew apart. Fall out of love. Moved on. Meet cooler, smarter people in college.

But Ronan refused to believe _that_ was the case between him and Adam.  
He decided to exhaust himself in the barns.  
But not without also exhausting himself mentally at the same time.  
_Had_ he been in the wrong? He had felt Adams mood shift weeks ago. He felt Adams affections grow cold. He had started to think Adam was growing distant. He was positive something was wrong on Adams end.  
But now, a fight and two day later, with no word from Adam, no standard **I got home safe** text, or **I love you even if you’re an asshole sometimes** text. Zero contact. Ronan punched the barn door, startling the cows in the early morning—he checked his phone again. Still zero contact.

\--

It had been three days since Adam had stormed off from the barns and as certain as he was that Ronan was to blame for the fight in the moment—he wasn’t so sure anymore.

On the first day that Adam had returned to the dorms, quiet and shrugging off dorm mate interaction he felt overwhelmed with uncertainty and there was a knot in the pit of his stomach. He played the fight over and over in his mind on his drive home, both thinking up more clever things to say if he could go back in time and fight with Ronan again, but also thinking of the way he would just talk to Ronan about everything that was on his mind, ending the fight and the night with both less anxiety and possibly some makeup kissing. But he didn’t have the ability to time travel so instead he found himself looking at the same page of a textbook for the last two hours, learning nothing, comprehending nothing, feeling like absolute garbage.

When he realized no honest studying was happening, he decided to call it an early night and fell asleep atop his blankets in the clothes he drove home in—it reminded him of his past life, his secret life—and yet it was the best sleep of his life.

He woke up to the sound of his dorm mate coming in hammered and apologizing for waking him. He couldn’t go back to sleep because even at 3:46 AM, Ronan and the fight was still on his brain. 

He took out his phone to send a text, the standard, **I love you even if you are an asshole sometimes,** text, but his phone was dead. He plugged it in and decided to try and fall back to sleep.

No win.

\--

On the second day after Adam had stormed off pissed from the barn, Ronan found himself exhausted both physically and mentally. Waking up at 4 am did that sort of thing to a man.

He showered after he finished his barn chores, and played with a very sullen and confused Opal, who wouldn’t stop reminding him that Adam was gone, saying shit like, _“Where’s Adam, Ronan?”_ with her very doe-like eyes. The shower was quick and despite not being a phone guy, he put his on the ledge of the shower just in case Adam finally texted him, or called, he wouldn’t miss it.

He didn’t miss it.

It never came.

He ordered a pizza, despite the fact that his stomach ached with anxiety. He picked at a slice before he decided to be the bigger man, and text Adam.

**Hey shit head….**

No, that wasn’t right.

**Parrish, don’t be like this, let’s talk…**

Also, probably not best to start, with accusatory slander.

**I miss you, I’m sorry, I love you…**

Fuck that; he wasn’t _that_ convinced he was the one in the wrong, Adam was being weird, weather he meant it or not.

**Fuck you for not texting.**

Nope, it goes both ways, and Ronan knew damn well he was just as guilty for this game of the silent treatment.

He put his phone on the bedside table and went to play video games, he needed to blow shit up.

\--

On the second day after Adam left the barns upset and unable to read Ronan, he had to fucking study. Like, he _had_ too. He woke up to an alarm, and despite being woken up at 3 AM by his drunk dorm mate, he was ready to start his day—meaning, his anxiety wouldn’t let him sleep.

And this was the problem really. He didn’t have time to be sweating a fight with Ronan when he was at school and Ronan knew that. 

Adam found himself growing even angrier at Ronan. Ronan knew damn well this next week was going to be hell, and he didn’t even have the balls to call or text and settle this so Adam could focus? No, Adam was always expected to be the bigger man.

He threw on some fresh, more _Harvard,_ looking clothes—his disguise, and ran out the door to make it to a study group he managed to get added to last-minute since he wouldn’t be at the barns studying this weekend as he had planned on.

With a mad dash across campus and a quick stop in the commons to grab a Dr Pepper and powdered doughnuts he barely made it on time to the study group before he got locked out—that’s how these Harvard fucks were, if you were late, even to something as low key as a study group, they couldn’t be bothered by you, and he had made it, with minutes to spare.

He patted the back pocket of his khakis, his phone was not there, and he knew damn well this would only stress him out further. What if Ronan called or texted? He would miss it, only causing more problems, making him seem more distant. He was never going to be able to focus now.

\--

On the third day after Adam had left the barns like a little cry baby bitch back to his preppy asshole friends Ronan had decided it was Adam’s fault they were fighting.

He stomped around the house like a mad man, slamming doors and punching into things to show the universe just how pissed he was—the universe did not care—so Ronan decided he would just show up at Adams school. Maybe catch him cheating or doing drugs or god knows what it was Adam was doing that didn’t involve texting Ronan to at least say he made him home okay--three mother fucking days ago.

Because something had to give. There had to be a logical explanation for Adam’s behavior, his distance, his silence. And Ronan was going to nip that shit in the bud—tonight.

He threw on his black Levi jacket and his doc martin boots and made damn sure to slam the door on his way out, for universe purposes. He peeled out in his Suburu STI and drove as recklessly as possible because that’s how Ronan drove normally, but tonight he was pissed, and if he drove at least 85MPH the whole way there, he could be at Harvard by sleepy ni ni time for all the sleepy-baby, Harvard fucks.

\--

On the third day after Adam had left the barns confused and hurting, he decided being at school, away from Ronan with an unresolved fight was not only hurting him, it was hurting his education, because he couldn’t focus to save his life. 

He took the bag he had packed from the last time he was supposed to stay at the barns and headed back there. This had to be resolved, or he would flunk these upcoming tests and worse, possibly lose Ronan—or kill him.

He drove the speed limit the whole way and listened to a lecture he had recorded several times, trying to cram some form of information into his wrung-out brain during the drive.

He typed up several text telling Ronan he was coming, and almost called twice during the drive, but he decided not to. He didn’t want Ronan to talk him out of coming. Worse, he didn’t want Ronan to decline his calls. He couldn’t handle Ronan not responding to a text, and he sure as hell didn’t want Ronan to apologize over the phone, because Adam was too tired, and hated confrontation too much—he knew he would accept it, and he didn’t want to sweep this under the rug any longer, he needed to be honest with Ronan, and he intended to do it in person.

\--

Ronan showed up at Adams Dorm at 6:45 pm, he took the steps two at a time, after pushing past some asshole hall monitor who told him he wasn’t allowed in the dorm without a pass.

He banged the door down, for universe purposes and, to piss off Adams dormmate if he was there. But no one answered.

The worst thoughts came over him. 

He was going to kill someone tonight if he found Adam cheating, and for the first time in a long time Ronan saw a flicker of Kavinsky in himself—he hated it.

He left the dorms and started pacing the grounds, looking for him, for Adam. And although Adam fit in, his fine-boned face, and sandy blonde hair, Ronan knew if he was close by, he would see him, because, in a sea of white privileged males, Adam would always stood out to Ronan.

He was nowhere to be found.

Ronan felt defeat set in, and anger, and regret. He went back to his car, that was illegally parked and without a ticket—shocker—and decided to wait.

\--

Adam showed up to the barns and all the lights were off except the little cat-shaped night light Opal liked on when she slept under the coffee table in the living room.

He walked the gravel driveway slowly, half expecting Ronan to come barging out of the barn house door telling him to fuck off, half expecting him to barge out of the barn house door shouting how sorry he was.

Neither happened.

Adam unlocked the door with nervous, shaky hands. Where was Ronan? Had he taken it too far? Had his immaturity pushed Ronan to do something stupid?

Adam called out for Ronan but was only greeted by the sound of little hooves and big doe eyes, “Ronan isn’t here, he left mad. I think he hates you, Adam.” Opal said, and Adam couldn’t blame him if he did.

“Do you know where he went?” Adam asked.

“No, he is very mad at you, Adam.”

Adam took Opal into his arms, “I know Opal, I fucked up.” He said. She released him from the hug and like a well-trained animal went back to her bed under the table and fell asleep.

Adam made his way to Ronan’s room, noticing a handful of punch marks on the walls leading there—looks like they had their work cut out for them when they made up, _if_ they made up. The room was empty, as he knew it would be. Adam sat on the messy bed and pulled out his phone, three missed calls from Ronan.

His heart raced, and his mind thought the worst.

He hit the speed dial under the name, **Boyfriend,** and Ronan picked up on the first ring.

“Where are you? Are you okay?” Adam asked.

“Where the fuck are _you_?” Ronan bit back, his words harsh and hurt.

“I’m at the barns, I came to talk.”

Adam heard Ronan hiss out a laugh on the other end, “I’m at your fucking school Parrish. I came to see what the fuck is going on with you.”

“I already told you, nothing is going on. What did you think, I was cheating on you?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah, with my textbooks, and my lectures, and my professors, Ronan. I go to Harvard. Do you know how hard that is?” he asked, his voice matching Ronan’s now, angry and honest.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Ronan asked, as if he already knew the answer.

“No, Ronan, I love you. People that love each other don’t just give up when shit is hard. And right now, its hard for me. Not loving you, obviously that’s the easiest thing in my life, but school is hard, and I just don’t have as much time or energy to give you, so I started to push you away. I figured if you felt me back off you would too, and I wouldn’t have to address the hard part.”

“You wouldn’t have to tell me that school is hard.” Ronan reiterated.

“Yeah, it's hard. On top of just the obvious reasons its hard, there are the underlying reasons its hard…I didn’t want to have this talk over the phone.” Adam said.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have left.”

“That’s not fair.”

“I know,” Ronan, said, and when Adam didn’t continue, he encouraged him, “What are the underlying reasons?”

Adam paced the bedroom they shared more often than not and let it spill, “I’m good at school Ronan, I have to be, but the thing is, is that here at Harvard, so is everyone else. I have to work hard, but for the most part, so does everyone else. But on top of working hard for grades, I work hard to cover where I came from, the dirt beneath my nails, the grease stains on my shirts. I have to work hard to be accepted and on top of all that I am gay, or bi, or whatever I am in a sea of men that will never understand that. I just feel so overwhelmed with this facade, that at the end of the day I don’t have anything left to give you.”

“I wish I weren’t such an asshole. I wish I would have called you instead of being stubborn.” Ronan admitted, wishing in this moment more than ever that he was face to face with Adam.

“I was thinking the same thing. If I would have just sent the text, if my phone wouldn’t have died, if I wouldn’t have left my phone at the dorm when I went to study group, _if-if-if_ , I would be there with you.”

“Our communication fucked us over Parrish. We are a goddamn romantic cliché for destruction right now.”

“So, what was your excuse?” Adam asked.

“My excuse for what?”

“Not texting or calling me after I left that night.”

“I’m a stubborn fuck-tard with an overactive imagination.”

Adam laughed, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Parrish, I don’t need all of your time, I’ll take what I can get, just so long as its authentic _when_ I get it.”

Adam laid back on the bed, and felt his face warm with guilt, he never should have pushed Ronan away, “I know, I think I lost sight of _us_ for a second there, I think I forgot what _we_ look like and how _we_ work.”

“Maybe, or maybe you're just stressed the fuck out and you freaked out.”

“I think so, maybe that too.”

There was a silence over the phone line, one they both knew they needed, to gather the depth of this conversation, to reflect on the hurt they caused each other by not communicating—a moment to grow and learn and decided that they never wanted to make this mistake again.

“I really wish I would have called you,” Adam said.

Ronan laughed, “You’re laying in our bed, huh?”

“How’d you know?”

“Because you sound like your about to fall asleep, and I know our bed does that to you.”

_Our bed._

“Come home,” Adam said with a yawn, feeling a hell of a lot lighter having got all of that off his chest—having gotten it all off of his chest and still having Ronan want him.

“It might take a while,” Ronan said, the roar of his car in the background.

“Not if you drive fast.”


End file.
